The Quantum Mirror
by SailorNeo
Summary: Slightly AU. Season 9. Sam's still engaged to Pete. But when the Quantam Mirror comes into play and SG1's kids come through...How will they deal with wedding plans, kids, AND the Ori?
1. The Engagement Party

Title: The Quantum Mirror

Chapter One: The Engagement Party

Sam sighed. She really should be happy, as this was her engagement party, but she wasn't. She and Pete really hadn't had an engagement party yet, so they decided they would. After all, she was getting married in a month...And the worst part was, Jack was in DC as Head of Homeworld Security and couldn't come. Jonas, Teal'c, Daniel, Cameron, General Hammond, General Landry, Cassie, and even Carolyn had come. All of Pete's family, all twenty of them, and part of her own family, about 40 or so individuals were there.

"Sam! Earth to Samantha!" a voice called. Sam turned. It was her cousin Virginia. "Okay, I've been here for my mandatory half an hour. Can I leave?"

"No," Sam pleaded. "Look, you have to stay."

"But I'm close to finding out the Oreda's weakness! Do you know how crucial this is?" Virginia said.

"Yes I do Ginia," Sam said, using her cousin's much hated nickname on purpose. "As I'm the one who's on the front line now that you're in Egypt most of the time now--why are you there by the way?"

"Um...Classified?" Virginia said meekly.

"I somehow don't think so, but I'll leave it at that," Sam said. "Please don't leave...I need people here for me..."

"Pete's mom annoying you, right?" Virginia said. Sam blushed. "Yeah, she's already asked every woman in the family why they're in the military. Apparently, she thinks I'm the only sane one cuz I'm not. When I told her I was just the rebel and didn't bother to do the actual "training" to shoot a gun, she looked like she was about to faint."

"You really shouldn't do that," Daniel said, coming up to the two.

"Well she's an annoying pain in the mikta," Virginia said. She sighed and leaned against the wall. "I mean, just look at her. She's disgusted with Lisa and Angelina and Danielle...It's annoying as hell!"

"Yeah, it is," Daniel said. "But think. She's going to be Sam's mother-in-law. You can at least be civil."

"This is me being civil. This is me being restrained by Leona. If I didn't have Leona in my brain, I'd have attacked Pete's mother by now," Virginia said, straight faced, staring Daniel directly in the eye. Leona was the Tok'ra that inhabited Virginia.

"I believe her," Cameron said as he walked over. "Have we met?"

"I think so," Virginia said. "But anyways, I'm Dr. Virginia Johnson, and Sam's cousin."

"Oh, so you're one of the million Johnsons running around the galaxy," Cameron said. "Colonel Cameron Mitchell. Are you a medical doctor, or a Jackson doctor?"

"I'm a Daniel doctor. Same degree as him actually. Only I believed his stuff. I was his student, but did he call me when Catherine asked him to help? Oh, of course not," Virginia said.

"Sam baby," Pete called. "I want you to meet someone."

Sam plastered a very fake smile on her face and headed over to Pete. "I really don't like this..." Virginia sighed.

"Just because you are the master at plotting couples, doesn't mean that all of them have to work out," Daniel said.

"Do too! I mean, look at Angelina and Jeremy! Neither would have found happiness again had it not been for me!" Virginia said.

"Huh?" Cam asked.

"My brother Jeremy's wife died a few years back. I met Angelina and found out that her husband had died too. I figured they could talk to one another. Eventually they got married."

"Hence why she's the master mind of couples," Daniel said drolly.

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

20 minutes later Virginia was still there, as Sam had guilt tripped her into staying. After all, Jacob wasn't able to come because of a mission for the Tok'ra. Pete was sort of happy that he couldn't come, as Pete realized he had made a fool of himself at their first meeting.

"Uncle Hank," Virginia said.

"What?" Landry asked.

"Do you think Jack _really_ has a meeting?"

"No."

"Me neither..." Virginia sighed. She looked up. "And there's the proof. He went to go get Uncle Jacob."

"What?" Landry asked. He looked up and saw Jack and Jacob quietly enter through the front door.

Virginia hopped up and darted over to her uncle, and gave him a hug. Then she stepped back and smirked. "Don't you have some important mission you have to do?" she asked

"Jack kidnapped me from talking to Mikal," Jacob said.

"Oh, him you can blow off," Virginia said.

"Why?" Jacob asked just before Sam ran over and gave him a hug.

"Because he's annoying that's why. I can't stand him," Virginia said.

"Who can?" Jacob asked, hugging his daughter tightly.

"You'd be surprised. I can think of a few who do," Virginia sighed.

"Really?" Jacob asked. "Hey Sam, how're you doing?"

"Good Dad, real good," Sam said.

"So Jack, thank you for liberating my uncle from the would-have-been-death-of-talking-to-Mikal," Virginia said.

"Thank you sir," Sam said, smiling brightly now.

Virginia mumbled something that sounded strikingly similar to Abydonian. "_That's_ why you've been in Egypt," Sam said.

"What?" Virginia asked.

"Skaara. Daniel mentioned something about him seeing you the first time..." Sam said.

"Crenti..." Virginia sighed. "So I have. What of it?"

"Nothing," Sam grinned.

"Oh shut up," Virginia said, blushing.

"What'd I miss? Hey Jack," Daniel said.

"What makes you think you missed anything?" Jack asked him.

"Virginia's blushing," Daniel stated.

"She's been seeing Skaara," Sam said.

"Sam!" Virginia said.

"Why?" Daniel asked.

Virginia mumbled something in what was most definitely Goa'uld. "Oh really?" Jacob asked. "She thinks he's cute and funny."

"Uncle Jacob!" Virginia exclaimed. She muttered an Abydonian curse under her breath.

"Did you think I would object?" Daniel asked. "He's already told me in no uncertain terms that he wants to marry you."

"Really?!" Virginia practically squealed.

"Somehow, this has got to be wrong," Jack sighed. "Considering he's not really even alive anymore…"

"You shut up," Virginia said, pointing a finger at him.

"Nice to see you again Jack," Landry said.

"Same," Jack said.

Pete came over. "Sam baby, my mother wants to talk to you," he said, glaring at Jack. Sam nodded and followed him.

Once Pete was out of hearing distance, Virginia scowled. "His mother is a beast..."

"Why?" Jacob asked.

"She's pretty much told Sam she can quit the Air Force and be a housewife," Daniel said.

"What?" Jacob asked.

"Yup. She's already said to every woman in the Air Force in this house that they should quit," Virginia said. "Angelina came pretty close to decking her..."

"Good for Angelina," Jacob said.

Virginia's and Landry's phones began ringing at the same time. They both stepped outside. "So, how are things going at the base?" Jacob asked.

"Same as normal," Daniel said. "Well...as normal as the base can get..."

"So good then," Jacob said.

"Yeah," Daniel said.

"That reminds me," Jacob said. "I've got something I want you and Virginia to look at."

"Like what?" Daniel asked.

"Like classified things," Jacob said.

"Oh," Daniel said, his eyes lighting up. "Where?"

"PX-945," Jacob said with a grin.

"I've been meaning to go there..." Daniel murmured. Pete's family looked on in confusion.

The door opened behind them. "Hold on Walter!" Virginia said into what looked like Landry's phone. "I need my computer to figure it out!" She darted over to the corner where she had stored her bag, picked it up, pulled out a Dell, and dropped the bag to the floor with a thunk. "Wait a minute already!" she said. She typed something in. "Oh crenti. Not now you useless hunk of machinery!" She smacked it and grinned. "That worked well. Okay, got it up. Say it again." She nodded and murmured a string of numbers under her breath. "Gotcha." She paused for a moment and looked up. "What?" she asked all the people staring at her. "Minor problem at the base."

"How minor?" all SGC personnel automatically asked.

"Just a message...In a code I made up..." Virginia said. She looked back at the computer.

"Virginia, that doesn't tell me how minor," Jack said.

"It's nothing you should worry--damn..." Virginia said. She took the phone away from her ear. "Uncle Hank!" she yelled. "Get off my phone and get in here!"

Landry came in, hanging up Virginia's phone and went over to her. "What is it?" he asked.

"Yeah, Walter, hold on. Asking Landry now," Virginia said. "Okay, look at this." She showed her computer screen to Landry, who took one look at it and frowned.

"What does that mean?" he asked.

"Means there's another mirror," Virginia stated.

* * *

So I edited the chapter and reposted it. 


	2. Another Mirror?

Chapter Two: Another Mirror?

"What do you mean _another_ mirror?" Daniel asked.

"Just that. Made a code for England personnel and well...it's in that code. Tell you what it says later. But it does say there's another mirror...because...never mind. So, are you letting them in?" Virginia looked at Landry who nodded. "Walter, Landry says yes. And you'll be having another visitor as soon as she stops yelling about wanting to see Daniel and realizes if she does shut up, she'll see him sooner."

"Vala?" Daniel asked immediately.

"Yup," Virginia said. She waited as Walter said something. "_Kids!_ Oh god, please say you're kidding me!" Walter obviously said something else, because after a second, she muttered a Goa'uld curse that had Teal'c looking surprised. "Uncle Hank, we really, really have to go. And Carolyn, you probably should too." She hung up, handed the phone back to Landry and shoved her computer into her bag.

"You can't leave," Pete's mom said.

Virginia slowly stood up. "What?"

"You can't leave."

"Why not?" Virginia asked.

"This is Samantha and Pete's engagement party. I won't let you ruin it by leaving," his mother said.

"Okay, look. If I don't leave," Virginia started. She sighed and closed her eyes. "Calm, calm, calm, calm, calm, calm," she muttered. She opened her eyes and stared into Pete's mother's eyes. "I'm leaving whether you like it or not. We've got big issues at the base, and if you don't let me leave, I'm gonna do something I'm going to regret."

Pete stepped forward. "I'd appreciate it if you would leave," he said.

"Fine," Virginia said. "Uncle Hank, you ready?" Landry nodded and the two walked out the door.

Everyone stared in confusion. A second later, Virginia stuck her head back in. "Oh, and Daniel, I thought you were coming to see to Vala...And Carolyn, you should come too remember."

"Right, I am," Daniel said. He and Carolyn walked out the door, though it remained open behind them.

"Well, if they're going, then I'm going to, as I need to show them something," Jacob said.

"Dad!" Mark said. "What are you doing?"

"I really need to show them something while I'm here," Jacob said.

"Go ahead dad," Sam said.

"Thanks Sammie," Jacob said, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"You can't leave!" Pete's mother yelled.

Lucky for Virginia, she was facing away from everyone, as her eyes flashed. "Leona," Landry said to her. "Don't do anything rash."

"It is not I who would do the rash act, but rather Virginia," Leona said, her voice surprisingly normal, not at all like when Selmak took over for Jacob. She turned. "I will be leaving. You will have to deal with this fact." She turned and walked out of the house.

"You know, if Vala's back, I probably should go ask her what was going on after she left," Jack said.

"I wish to go as well," Teal'c said.

Landry's phone rang. "Landry," he said into it. "What? Got it," he said. He looked at Jack. "We've really got to go, as Vala just said something very bad."

"Like how bad?" Jack asked.

"They're coming with major forces," Landry said.

"Sam, you can't go," Pete said.

"Pete, I have to," Sam said.

"No you don't," Pete's mom said.

Sam turned to her. "I have to. It's my job."

"You don't have to do anything," Pete's mom said.

"Come on already! Get your butts out here!" Virginia yelled from outside. "And Jack, if Miss Uppity-Pain-In-The-Mikta won't let Sam go, order her to."

"Good point," Jack said. "But you should stay at your own engagement party."

"I'm going, sir," Sam said.

"Look, this is going to take forever, just order her to stay or to come already!" Virginia yelled.

"Shut up already!" Jack yelled out the door.

"Bite me!" Virginia yelled back. "I'm already in a foul mood, so don't piss me off any more than I already am!"

"Sir," Sam said. "I'm going."

"No you're not," Jack said.

"Yes I am," Sam said.

"Do not get into one of your bloody famous arguments now!" Virginia yelled from outside. "I am leaving right now and if anyone else wishes to come they had better get their butts—Skaara!"

The SGC personnel looked out the door. Skaara was indeed standing next to Virginia in surprisingly American clothes and much shorter hair. "Yes?" he asked.

"What are you doing here?" Virginia asked, evidently shocked.

"I wished to," he said. "It is good to be seeing you Daniel and O'Neill," Skaara said with a glance in their direction. "Will you be leaving now?"

"If I can get them all to GET OUT HERE!" Virginia said.

"Sam, you can't go," Pete said.

"Yu ben de hwoon dahn," Virginia said.

"And that means what?" Jack asked.

"Chinese," Virginia said.

"How do you know Chinese?" Sam asked.

"Daniel as well as Firefly and Serenity. They teach good Chinese curse words," Virginia said. "But we're leaving _**now**_!"

"Sir," Sam said. "There's nothing you can do to keep me from coming."

"He can throw you over his shoulder and lock you in your room again," Virginia said.

"He what!" Pete yelled while Daniel asked, "How did you hear about that?"

"Come on, it was during normal hours on base. And then there's the fact that she's always been notorious for never sleeping...So I just asked Uncle George—who said that Sam was working and wouldn't go to sleep, wouldn't listen to Jack when he said to go to sleep, so he threw her over his shoulder and dragged her kicking and screaming to her room and locked her in there with a guard in front of the door for ten hours. Plus I have it on video. Bribed the camera guys fifty bucks for it," Virginia said.

"Great," Sam muttered.

"You did what?" Pete yelled.

"It was like four years ago stupid," Virginia said. "Are we going? Because Vala's probably already there by now and there's five kids running around if you recall."

"Five?" Jack asked.

"Yes five," Virginia said.

"From where?" Sam asked.

"Classified," Landry said.

"Sam, you should probably come to know that I think about it…" Virginia said.

"Why?" Landry asked.

"Remember what Walter said one of the kids said?" Virginia asked.

"Right...Carter, you're coming," Landry said.

"Thank you sir," Sam said.

"You aren't going anywhere," Pete's mom said.

Sam looked at her in shock. "I have to. It's my job."

"I thought you were quitting your job. Pete's the man of the house."

"She quits her job we're all dead!" Virginia called from outside. "Are we going, or what?"

"We are," Sam said. "And I'm not quitting my job. I love my job."

"Look, you can continue this ruddy argument later!" Virginia said. "We have to go now or I'm pretty sure something is going to go very badly."

"Fine," Sam said, heading out the door.

Jack grabbed her arm. "You're staying," he said.

"Sir," Sam sighed. "I'm going."

"Just let her go already!" Virginia shouted. "We really have to get to the base!"

"She can go," Pete said quietly.

"What?" Pete's mother yelled.

As it looked like a fight was about to begin, everyone who wasn't outside the house began sneaking out. They got into the cars and drove away to the base.

Before they reached the Infirmary, they could hear Vala yelling, which caused both Daniel and Carolyn to break out into a run. When the rest of the group--Skaara still with them for some odd reason--reached the Infirmary, they saw Vala sitting on one of the beds, arms wrapped around Daniel, who had his arms wrapped around her.

_--Plan three is completed!-- _Virginia said.

_--And plan one will shortly, if things go our way,-- _Leona told her.

They got closer to Vala and Daniel and could hear Vala babbling about bloody awful Ori. "Vala," Virginia said.

Vala looked at her from over Daniel's shoulder. "What?" she asked.

"Are you all right?" Carolyn asked.

"No," Vala said.

"I'll do it," Virginia said. She looked to Landry. "I would go see to those kids now," she told him.

"Right," Landry said, heading out.

Virginia turned back to Vala. "You're gonna have to let go of each other, you know," she told them.

Vala did so, but begrudgingly and lay down. Virginia pulled out a healing device from her bag and put it on her hand.

"These aren't only used for healing," Virginia said as she held it over Vala's body. Vala threaded her fingers through Daniel's. "They scan the body too."

A white light fell from the device onto Vala's body. After a few moments, the light diminished. "There you go. All better." She turned to Carolyn. "Can I talk to you? In your office?"

Carolyn looked slightly confused, but nodded. The two of them went into her office, where Virginia closed the door. "What?" Carolyn asked. "Is something wrong with Vala?"

"Not really. I healed her, she's perfectly fine clinically…but…she's pregnant…with Daniel's child…"

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

"Wait...These kids are...SG-1's?" Landry asked.

"Yes sir," Walter said. "Apparently the one named Caleb is Dr. Jackson's and Vala's, and the other four are General O'Neill's and Colonel Carter's."

"This could spell trouble..." Landry mused. "What happened in their reality?"

"The Ori came and demolished their planet. The eldest saw everyone die, and grabbed the kids and ran for the mirror. They were apparently found by one of SGCUN's teams and brought here, as they are our team's children."

"SGCUN?" Landry asked.

"Ask Dr. Johnson, sir," Walter said.

"Where are they?" Landry asked.

"In one of the VIP rooms," Walter said.

"All right." Landry headed to the VIP rooms, Walter following. "Can you give me names?"

"Well, there's Caleb as I said, he's two. There's also Elizabeth, though she seems to be called Lizzie and she's two, and Patrick and Grace, their seven year old twins. The eldest is 20. Sir, I think you might want to brief him on the situation with his parents. The _entire_ situation. Including General O'Neill's first marriage," Walter said.

"Why?" Landry asked.

"The boy's name is Charlie."


	3. The Kids

Chapter Three: The Kids

Jack had stayed in the Infirmary after Virginia had vanished in Carolyn's office, but waited for Vala to calm down. Now that she was, he asked. "What do you have on the Ori?"

"They're sending an army," she said. "A big one. They've found a way to get an armada to this galaxy. They've begun training warriors."

"Skaara, can you try to see what you can find out? Without getting in trouble?" Virginia asked, coming out of Carolyn's office.

Skaara nodded and vanished. "And how did he do that?" Vala asked.

"He's an Ancient," Daniel said.

"Not true. He's an _ascended_. There's a difference," Virginia said. "The Ancients ascended to a higher level of existence long ago. Skaara only ascended recently."

"Whatever," Vala said.

"What did you want to talk to Carolyn about?" Daniel asked.

"Stuff," Virginia said evasively.

Walter came in. "Dr. Johnson, General Landry wants to see you," he said.

Virginia nodded and headed out of the room. Carolyn immediately got right down to business. "All right. Everyone out," she said, ushering Daniel and Jack out of the Infirmary.

"Not Daniel," Vala said.

"Fine, Daniel, stay," Carolyn said. Everyone else left the room, while Daniel went back to Vala's bed. "I have something to tell you two anyways."

_'This can't be good...'_ Daniel thought.

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

"You really should have stayed," Jack said to Sam as they headed to Sam's lab.

"I'm needed here," Sam said simply.

"You're needed there too," Jack said.

"Not as much as I am here," Sam said.

"You still should have stayed."

"They're going to have to get used to it," Sam said. Jack inwardly winced at the reminder that she was marrying that idiot. "And she'd better figure out I'm not giving up this job too..." Sam muttered this last part more to herself than anyone else.

"But you're still going to have to deal with them eventually," Jack said.

"I'll cross that bridge when I come to it," Sam said.

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

"What'd you want to see me for, Uncle Hank?" Virginia asked as she walked into his office.

"You're going to talk to the kids."

"You want me to talk to the kids?" Virginia asked. "Why?"

"Because Jack can't, Colonel Carter can't, Dr. Jackson can't, none of the rest of your family can, and I'm pretty sure Colonel Mitchell wouldn't know what to do," Landry stated the reasons firmly.

"Why?" Virginia asked as they headed towards the VIP rooms.

"Did Walter tell you who the kids are?"

"Just that one's Daniel and Vala's and the rest are Jack and Sam's. Why?"

"Four are Jack's, but only three are Colonel Carter's," Landry said.

"Oh no…Don't tell me one of them is Charlie…" Virginia sighed.

"Then I won't," Landry said. "I want you to find out what they know. Brief them on the situation here."

"All right," Virginia sighed. "Do you want to have a briefing with everyone later? Including Vala…Because there's something you guys need to know…"

"Like what?" Landry asked.

"I can't say. You have to ask Daniel and Vala," Virginia said, sliding her card in the door and walking through, leaving Landry on the other side.

"Aunt Virginia!" came four cries as soon as she closed the door behind her, and four little balls of energy barreled into her. "Where's Mommy and Daddy!" they all yelled at once.

"Mommy and Daddy are working right now," Virginia said.

_--I think we're in a bit of trouble…--_ Leona said to her.

_--Oh, you've _just_ realized this? Where's Skaara when I need him?--_

_--Recall that you sent him to get information. Now talk to Charlie.--_

Virginia sighed and looked up. Immediately she saw a young man that looked almost exactly like Jack, only with sandy blonde hair, more so than his father's had been. "Hi," he said.

"Hi…" she said back. She looked down at the two blonde heads, the brown head, and the black head.

"Why don't you give Aunt Virginia some space?" Charlie said. The four children went and sat on the bed and Charlie continued. "Aunt Virginia and I are going to talk. Why don't you guys go play?"

"Okie dokie!" the blonde little girl said. Virginia realized with a jolt that she looked exactly like how Sam had described the little girl that she had seen when on the Prometheus. She led the other three over to the corner where they began to play.

"I assume you're here to ask questions, right?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah…Though I'm not sure what to ask…" Virginia said.

"Why don't I start then…" Charlie said. "In my world, I obviously didn't kill myself—Landry told me the brief version of life here—but my mom did. No one knew why. But dad went on the mission to Abydos because of that and came back changed. Then he was forced to join the Stargate Program. He met Sam and changed again. He was happier. Sam never went into the military as she apparently has here. They got married about a year after the Program started. In 1999, Grace and Patrick were born."

"In 2002, Aunt Vala showed up. She and Uncle Daniel hit it off pretty much immediately, and then you got them drunk and got them married because Sha're had already died. If I didn't mention it, you began work as soon as the Program started as a language expert. In 2003, Lizzie and Caleb were born. Lizzie is my little sister and Caleb is Uncle Daniel's and Aunt Vala's son. That's the back story in a nutshell," Charlie told her.

"Okay, what about why you went through the mirror?" Virginia asked.

"The alarms went off, but the kids didn't notice anything out of the ordinary," Charlie began. At Virginia's confused look, he continued, "The Program went public after the defeat of the Goa'uld, and also, as Dad and Sam are major parts of the Program, they had to tell me something, so I have clearance."

"But I heard the alarms go off and then an Airman came in and said that the Ori were coming and we were to go off world, but the Ori got to the planet first. They ended up killing everyone but us. I saw everyone, including my parents and family die, grabbed the kids, and went through the mirror. We appeared to be on our version of the Alpha Site for us, but obviously not in this universe. Then a team found us, I told them who we were, and they brought us here."

"Why couldn't you go to the SGCUN?" Virginia asked.

"The what?" Charlie asked.

"Sam and Jack did get lost in Antarctica, right?" Virginia asked.

"Yeah, that's how they really decided they loved each other," Charlie said.

"Did Sam blow up a sun with the Gate?" Charlie nodded. "Did you find another Stargate on an uninhabited planet and bring it to Earth?"

"No…So did you use it to set up a new SGC?" Charlie asked.

"Yup," Virginia said. "Let me explain. We actually put the second base on Mars, seeing as we figured no one would realize it was there. When there's a ship in orbit, we bounce messages off of them. The base on Earth for SGCUN—Stargate Command United Nations—is in London underground. It's made up of people all over the world, much like the Atlantis expedition. Back to your story. Why didn't you just get out? Go to the President?"

"Because we were all that was left. And we were heading to the Alpha Site before the Ori came through the Stargate," Charlie said.

"Bummer…What do you know about the Ori? Aside from that they have magical powers and are coming to kill the Ancients?"

"They're trying to kill the Ancients?" Charlie asked.

"Charlie!" Grace said. "We're bored and we want Mommy and Daddy!"

"Mommy and Daddy are still busy," Virginia said. She stood up. "Hey, I'm gonna go talk to Uncle Hank and the others, okay?"

"Sure. Not like I got a say in this or anything," Charlie said with a wry grin.

"You will…eventually…So off I got to explain to your father that you aren't dead…Oh joy…" Virginia said. "But I'll do all I can for you guys."


	4. Skaara

Chapter: Four Skaara

"What have you gleaned from the children?" Landry asked.

"The Ori destroyed their planet. Everyone on the base was leaving for the Alpha site when the kids went through the mirror," Virginia said. She looked around the table and smirked internally at the seating arrangement. Sam and Jack were sitting next to each other, Daniel and Vala were sitting next to each other, and Cameron and Carolyn were sitting next to each other.

"Well, who _are_ the kids?" Sam asked impatiently.

"That's the tricky part…" Virginia said. "They were brought here for a reason…Bugger this is annoying…"

"Why?" Jack asked.

"Oh, because it is…" Virginia said. She sighed. "There's Caleb, Lizzie, Grace, and Patrick. Grace and Patrick are twins and siblings to Lizzie." At the mention of Grace, Sam's eyes had widened. "And then there's the oldest who will at the moment go nameless…He's Lizzie, Grace, and Patrick's half brother. Caleb is…grr…"

"Caleb is Vala and Dr. Jackson's son," Landry said. "Lizzie, Grace, and Patrick and Colonel Carter and Jack's children."

Everyone's jaw dropped in the room, excepting Teal'c, Virginia, and Landry. "Oh this is gonna take a while…" Virginia sighed, looking at Jack, who looked like he was in the most shock.

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

Twenty minutes later, and everyone was still in shock. "There's a kid…and it's _mine_?" Vala squeaked.

"Yes," Virginia said. "And he's really cute. Looks sorta like Daniel, but he has black hair and your eyes. Plus he has your nose."

Vala shook her head and leaned her head against her hand. Daniel put a hand on her shoulder to comfort her. There was no use talking to Jack and Sam, as both were still staring off into space. "Are they really Sam and Jack's?" Jacob asked.

"Yup…" Virginia said confidently.

An airman came into the room and spoke to Landry quietly. "Virginia, Jacob," Landry said. "Come with me." He led them just out of the room and pulled them aside. "Shanahan and his family are here. Can you two deal with them as I don't think Colonel Carter is able to speak at the moment."

"Right…Yeah, we'll do it," Virginia said, looking at her uncle. "Let's go."

"Don't tell them anything, no matter how much clearance they say they have," Landry warned the pair.

"I'm not stupid," Virginia said, looking over her shoulder at him as she and Jacob headed for the elevator.

They headed up to the ground level and went to the gates. "Where's Sam?" Pete's mother demanded.

"She's busy at the moment," Jacob said.

"She's gaping like a dead fish," Virginia said with a smile.

"Why?" Pete asked.

"We got some news," Virginia said. "Exciting for some, not so much for Sam."

"She got fired?" Pete's mom asked.

"No where near…" Jacob said.

Virginia's phone started ringing and she picked it up. "Hello, Dr. Johnson speaking…Wait, wait, wait…Skaara. How are you talking on the phone?" She paused and her eyes got wide. "You _what_?" she squeaked. "Oh, I love you," she said.

"Let me guess. It has to do with what Daniel's done twice," Jacob said. Virginia nodded and began to speak rapidly in Abydonian on the phone. "Anyways, my daughter is currently indisposed of at the moment. She will get back to you as soon—"

"General Carter," one of the security guards said, approaching the group. "You and Dr. Johnson are needed below."

"Right," Jacob said. He turned back to Pete's family. "She'll get back to you later. Have fun. Go away."

He and Virginia then headed back down, Virginia still on the phone with Skaara.

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

"So, what's up?" Jacob asked.

"The kids _really_ want to see their parents and are having a temper tantrum," Landry said. "And what is Virginia saying?"

"Apparently, if I'm correct, Skaara descended," Jacob said.

"Really?" Daniel asked, perking up at the fact that his brother-in-law was back from the Oma Desala Fan Club.

Virginia nodded and once again began to babble excitedly. "Glad it's in another language…" Jack said.

"Sadly, I can understand her," Daniel sighed.

"Shut up Daniel," she said, hanging up. "Skaara descended in SGCUN, so he's getting here via the gate seeing as our lovely Scottty transport left twenty minutes ago."

"When should we expect him?" Landry asked.

"Soon. I can't give you a set time because Peter—who's in charge when Bobby's away—said something about giving me stuff, so I don't know," Virginia said.

"All right then," Landry said. "What about the children?"

"They _really_ don't like staying in the room they're in and Charlie's having problems keeping them entertained," Virginia said. "And they _really_ want to see their parents…"

"I see…" Landry said.

Vala looked down and then back up. "I'll go see them," she said.

"You will?" Landry asked. Vala nodded. "Virginia, why don't you take her to them?"

Virginia nodded and led Vala out of the room. "Is my baby okay?" Vala asked. "I know you told Dr. Lam just after you healed me."

"Yes. Nothing's wrong. The Ori didn't do anything to it," Virginia said.

"And you're sure it's Daniel's?"

"Yes. It's far enough along that I can tell who the father is," Virginia said. "Are you okay with that?"

"Surprisingly, yes," Vala said. She shook her head with a rueful look. "Never thought I'd be a mother…"

"And what about Daniel?"

"All I could think about was him…" Vala said as they got into the elevator. "And now…I don't know…"

"All he thought about was you," Virginia said. "We had to force him sleep sometimes."

"Really?" Vala asked.

"Yeah…" Virginia said as they exited the elevator. They didn't speak again until they got to the door. "I warn you, Caleb is liable to jump on you."

Vala nodded as Virginia opened the door. "Mommy!" Caleb yelled as he saw Vala. He attached himself to her leg. "I missed you Mommy."

Virginia smiled slightly at Vala's expression. It wasn't quite shock, but it wasn't quite amazement. She slowly reached down and put her hand on top of his black head. "Where's Daddy?" Caleb asked curiously.

"He's busy right now, but he'll come later," Virginia said.

"Okay!" Caleb chirped.

Vala sat down on the bed and let the little boy babble to her as he climbed into her lap. Virginia took the twins while Charlie took Lizzie. That was the picture Daniel walked in on five minutes later, Vala holding a little boy who looked like him with black hair, minus the glasses, and Vala's eyes. "Daddy!" Caleb yelled, running over to Daniel.

"SCHEDULED OFF WORLD ACTIVATION!" came Walter's voice over the speakers.

"That would probably be Skaara," Virginia said. "Stay here and I'll go get him." She practically ran out of the room.

"She is so in love with him," Vala said under her breath.

"Yeah…she is," Daniel said.

"Daddy. When are you and Mommy taking me home?" Caleb asked.

"Er…" Daniel said.


	5. Confessions

Chapter Five: Confessions

"You wanted to see me, Uncle Hank?" Virginia asked, entering the office.

"Have you told Jack yet that his son is here?"

"No. Do I have to?"

"Yes."

"But it's going to be really hard. For him, Charlie's been dead for over ten years."

"I realize this but he needs to know before he walks into that room and finds his son miraculously alive."

"Fine…I'll go do it…Meanie."

Landry smiled and shook his head as she left the room.

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

"Uh, Jack?" Virginia asked. "Is this a good time to talk to you?"

Jack looked up. "Yeah, why?"

"Uh…Because Uncle Hank wanted me to talk to you about the kids."

'_Why is she so twitchy?'_ Jack thought. "Okay, sit down."

"Um yeah…You know who the kids are, right?"

"Four are mine and Carter's and one's Daniel's and Vala's," Jack said.

"That's not entirely true. Only three are yours and Sam's, while four are yours."

"Virginia, for cryin' out loud, just spit it out!"

"Jack. The oldest is Charlie."

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

After leaving Jack staring into space and thinking about the fact that his son was now alive, Virginia had headed to Daniel's lab to talk to him. "So, Daniel. I've got a question for you."

"The answer is no," Daniel said.

"Well, it's not a yes or no question. So, what's the deal between you and Vala?" Virginia asked, leaning against the island in the middle of his office.

Daniel sighed. "You're cruel. You know that, right?" he asked. When Virginia just grinned at him, he sighed again. "I don't know how things are between us…I mean, she's a pain most of the time…but that's just a defense mechanism—"

"No it's not. She's just a pain most of the time. See what I'm thinking is—"

"You asked me the question, not yourself."

"—that you're afraid," Virginia continued. Daniel stared at her. "Afraid of falling in love again because you've had such a bad track record with love. You're afraid of becoming attached to a thief, a liar, and a cheat. You're afraid to get too close in case she leaves again—which she won't now that she's met Caleb." She paused. "I'm right, aren't I?"

Daniel looked down for a moment and then groaned. "Yeah, you're right…I am afraid of her."

"Not _of _her. Just of being around her in case you get too close. But let me tell you something. She feels the same way. I think she loves you, but thinks she doesn't know how to love anymore…So, just go talk to her. Plus there's probably the fact that she's wigged out by her carrying your child."

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

Vala heard knocking at her door, but ignored it. She rolled over on her side and put a hand on her belly. Inside of her was a baby…her and Daniel's baby.

"Vala?" Daniel asked from the other side of the door.

"Go away," Vala said.

"Vala, just open the door," Daniel sighed.

Vala got up off of the bed and pulled the door open. "What?" she asked.

"I wanted to talk," he said. Vala sighed and went to go sit on her bed. Daniel followed her in, closing the door behind him. "How are you feeling?"

"Horrid," Vala said. "There, we talked, now you can leave."

"Vala," Daniel sighed. "I mean it. How are you feeling about all of this...I mean…We now have two kids…One of which isn't born yet."

When Vala said nothing for five minutes, Daniel began to feel awkward and was just about to leave when Vala looked up.

"I want them," Vala said suddenly. Daniel looked at her. She stared into his eyes. "I want them so badly it scares me. I want this little life inside of me. I want Caleb. He loves me…No one's loved me for a long time…And yet, he loves me unconditionally…And this baby…it'll love me…" Her head dropped down to stare at her lap.

Daniel blinked, understanding dawning on him. He went and sat down next to her. "Vala, understand that I want them too." She looked up at him, tears glistening in her eyes. "And I won't leave you alone."

"Do you really mean that, Daniel?" Vala asked.

"Yes," Daniel said. "Vala, I won't leave you, our son, and our other child alone. Which means you'll have to somehow become an American…" he murmured as an afterthought.

"You know," Vala said, that familiar wicked gleam in her eyes once more. "Dr. Lam said that I can have sex until the third trimester." Daniel groaned and rolled his eyes. Vala was back to normal all right.

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

Sam stood before the door to the room where the kids were being kept. She wanted to go see them, she really did, but she was nervous. After all, she was engaged to a man who wasn't their father…Not that she wouldn't mind being engaged to their father…

She shook her head. _'Pete…Think Pete…Not Jack—the General...'_ She pushed open the door and was surprised to see Vala laying on her back with a little boy curled up on her. Three other kids were also curled up on the bed, asleep.

"Hi," Vala said softly. "They conked out about a half an hour ago. Must be really tired."

"You've been laying here for a half an hour with him on you?"

"Yup."

"It's been amusing," a voice said from corner. Sam turned and saw a man who must be Charlie O'Neill. "Hi Sam."

"Hi," Sam said. "Um…So who's who?"

"The one laying on me is Caleb," Vala said. "This is Grace, this one's Patrick, and this one's Lizzie," she said, pointing to each of them in turn. Sam nodded.

"Why do you keep staring at Grace?" Charlie asked.

"I was stuck on the Prometheus and had hallucinations because of a concussion. Not only did I see the rest of the team, but I saw a little girl who said her name was Grace. She said I didn't know her but I would…And she looks exactly like that Grace," Sam said.

"Weird," Vala said. "I once had a dream about Daniel…okay, more than once…and it wasn't because of a concussion…"

Sam shook her head. "Only you Vala, only you."

Caleb stirred and Vala ran a hand down his back, smiling a little. "Mommy," he murmured. "Where's Daddy?"

"Daddy's still busy," Vala said. She looked up at Sam. "Do you think you could go get him?"

Sam nodded and left the room, heading towards Daniel's office. On the way there, she bumped into Jack, who had apparently come out of his hermitage. "Carter," he said, slightly surprised. "Uh…Where ya headed?"

"Daniel's office. Vala wants him…or rather Caleb wants him and Vala sent me to get him," Sam said. She and Jack hadn't talked at all since it had been announced that they now had kids…Which reminded her…She really had to go see Pete and tell him…That was going to be torture.

"Oh…So you've seen…the kids?" Jack asked awkwardly.

"Haven't talked to them—they were all asleep," Sam said. They reached Daniel's office in silence. "Daniel, Caleb wants you."

"Oh…right…" Daniel said. "One second." He finished what he was doing on the computer and stood up. "Jack…Hi…"

"Hi, Daniel," Jack said. "So, you're going to go see your son?"

"Apparently," Daniel said, heading out the door. "Either of you coming?" Sam nodded.

"I might as well," Jack said. Sam and Daniel stopped, surprised.

"You will?" Daniel asked.

"Yeah," Jack said quietly, heading to the elevators. Sam and Daniel shared a look of surprise and headed after him.

They reached the room where the kids were, Jack stopping. Daniel headed in, closing the door after him, but a "Daddy!" leaked out.

Sam looked at Jack. "You sure, sir?" she asked.

"No, but oh well," he said.

He pushed open the door and three little people said, "Mommy! Daddy!" and rushed them. Vala snickered at their bewildered expressions.

Daniel grinned slightly at them, but then Caleb pulled on his hand to bring his attention back to the little boy. "Daddy, look at the picture I drew!" he said, proudly showing off the drawing.

Sam grinned shyly at the children clustered around her and Jack. "What took you so long?" Grace innocently asked.

"This and that," Jack said.

"Uncle Hank took Charlie and they're talking!...But we don't know why…" Lizzie said. "Why're they talking Mommy?" She looked up into Sam's eyes hopefully.

"Uh…" Sam said.

Behind them, the door burst open. "Oh, you two are here…Didn't think you'd be here for a while…But Uncle Hank said that Daniel, Vala, Skaara, and I can take them to the park. He said if you two wanted to as well you could," Virginia said. "So, you guys up for the park?"

"Park!" the kids yelled.

"Have you ever taken a child to the park before?" Jack asked her.

"Yes. Look at the amount of nieces and nephews I have. And look, we outnumber them anyways," Virginia said.

Jack rolled his eyes heavenward. _'This should be interesting…'_


	6. The Park

Chapter Six: The Park

"What's a park?" Vala asked as they were driving to a nearby park.

"Silly Mommy," Caleb said. "It's the place you and Daddy, and Uncle Jack, and Aunt Sam, and Uncle Teal'c, and Uncle Cameron, and Uncle Skaara, and Aunt Virginia take us to play."

"Right," Vala said. "Silly me." She looked at Daniel. 'What's a park?' she mouthed at him.

Daniel pointed out the window to the park, as they had reached it. "Hey," Patrick said. "Where's the big slide?"

"They took it out, sorry sweetie," Virginia said. When the others looked at her she shrugged. "There really was a slide here. They took it out yesterday."

Jack parked the car and the kids bounced impatiently to be let out of the car. Once they had been let out, they immediately tore off to the playground. "Okay, who wants who?" Jack asked.

"I'll take Caleb," Vala said, heading off after her little boy who was headed for the swings.

"I should probably go with them, as she's never seen a playground before," Daniel said.

"Grace," Sam said.

"I'll take Lizzie which leaves you with Patrick," Virginia said. "Have fun!" She grabbed Skaara's hand and pulled him towards Lizzie who was in the process of standing in the middle of the see saw.

"Okay then," Jack said. He went over to Patrick who was in the sand box, building…something. "Whacha building there?" he asked.

"Castle," Patrick said, intently focused on his pile of sand. "See," he said, pointing. "There's the doors!"

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

"So, why couldn't we go to the park with the kids?" Cam asked.

"General Landry thought it would be unwise if we all went," Teal'c said. "And also, he says that you are behind on your paperwork."

"Do you ever fill out paperwork?" Cam asked. "Cause it never looks like you do."

Teal'c just raised an eyebrow at him. "UNSCHEDULED OFF WORLD ACTIVATION!"

Cam and Teal'c hurried to the Control Room, where Walter was telling General Landry that it was the Tok'ra IDC. "Open the Iris then," Landry said. "We haven't heard from them in a while. Hopefully it's good news, and not them recalling Jacob."

It was then that Anise-Freya stepped through the Stargate and said, "I must speak to Colonel O'Neill and Dr. Jackson."

"Isn't she the one that hits on the both of them?" Cam asked. "Cause if so, we're in a bit of trouble…"

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

Vala was having the time of her life playing on the playground with her son. She chased him around, pushed him on the swings, watched him go down the slide, went down the slide herself, used the see saw with him, and even went on the thing that she called, "the big spinny thing that goes around and around."

Daniel was finding this all very amusing. For one, seeing Vala genuinely happy was something he'd never experienced before…Possibly something she'd never experienced before either.

He looked around the park. The three O'Neill children had decided they wanted to play with both of their parents, so both Sam and Jack had them, leaving Virginia and Skaara to do some much needed talking. The two sat on a bench looking very intent on whatever they were talking about. Sam and Jack were pushing their three on the swings while sneaking glances at each other.

And then things went badly. Quickly.

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

"Anise says that they will only speak to Colonel O'Neill and Dr. Jackson. Jacob's trying to get her to cooperate, but so far it isn't working," Landry said. "And as none of them have phones on them, I need you two to go and get them."

"Yes, sir," Cameron said. He and Teal'c headed out the door when Charlie spoke up.

"They'll be at the park on Grove Street. The kids like that one the best," he said.

"Thanks," Cam said. He paused. "General, is there a park on Grove Street here?"

"Only one way to find out," Landry said. "Now go."

"Going, sir," Cam said.

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

"Samantha! What are you doing with those children?" a very irate woman yelled. That woman just happened to be Sam's future mother-in-law.

"Oh crap," Virginia said. She quickly got up off of the bench she and Skaara were sitting on and hurried over to Sam and Jack.

Pete wasn't far behind his mother, and he looked a bit confused. "Mommy, who're they?" Patrick asked, looking up at Sam.

"Mommy?" Mrs. Shanahan said. "You have a son and didn't tell us? How dare you think that you can treat my son so!"

"Sam, what's going on?" Pete asked.

"Daddy, that lady's mean! Make her stop yelling," Lizzie said, she grabbed Jack's hand and hung on to it.

"Since when have you had a kid too?" Pete asked.

"Who cares about him! Samantha has been lying!" Mrs. Shanahan said.

Virginia rolled her eyes. "Okay, look. You can shut up now. You're upsetting the munchkins."

"I'm not a munchkin," Patrick and Grace said. "I'm nine."

"You're still shorter than I am, so you're a munchkin," Virginia said, sparing a glance at the two.

Vala and Daniel came over, Caleb resting on Vala's hip. "What's going on? And who are you two?" she asked.

"I'm Sam's fiancé, who are you?" Pete demanded.

"Vala Mal Duran," Vala said flippantly. She looked at Daniel. "Why's she going to marry _him_?"

Grace and Patrick were looking back and forth between their parents, aunts, uncles, and the Shanahans. "This isn't ours, is it?" Patrick asked softly.

Sam looked down at him sadly and shook her head. "What are you talking about?" Mrs. Shanahan demanded.

"Hey! Jackson! General O'Neill! You got a message at the—oh…This is awkward…" Cam said, coming over to them.

"What type of message?" Jack asked.

"Anise," Cam said.

"Oh…Hey!" Virginia said. "This could be very beneficial. Not only can I hit her, but Vala can also hit on Daniel, thus causing her to realize he's taken, and I can hit her!"

Daniel looked at her. "You need help," he said finally.

"Shut up. So, we're leaving. Now," Virginia said. "Into cars stat."

As they headed towards the parked cars, Pete's mom grabbed Sam's arm. "You're not leaving until I get an explanation about all of this!"

"I'm sorry, but I have to go," Sam said.

"No. You obviously aren't needed by this Anise person, so you can stay and explain what's going on!"

"This could be a problem," Virginia muttered.

"You mean more than it already is?" Cam asked.

"Mrs. Shanahan. These children were orphaned; their parents look remarkably similar to Sam and Jack. We were given them for the time being as their parents worked with NORAD. We'll be finding them a new home shortly," Virginia said.

That seemed to be a good enough answer for Mrs. Shanahan, who crossed her arms and grunted. The group quickly headed towards the cars, grateful that they had one crisis solved. "Why did you say that?" Daniel asked.

"It's not a lie. There parents are Sam and Jack, who look remarkably similar to our Jack and Sam, their parents did work with NORAD, and we will be finding them a new home. They're temporarily in the SGC's care. So I wasn't lying," Virginia said.

"You're really good at making people hear what they want to, aren't you?" Cam asked.

"One of my better diplomat qualities," Virginia grinned.

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

Daniel and Jack walked into the Briefing Room, Daniel hissing at Vala to stay out. "Hello," Jack said.

"General O'Neill, Dr. Jackson," Freya said. "I have a message for the two of you."

"All right, what is it?" Daniel asked.

"The Ori are planning a full scale attack. They are bringing ships," Freya said.

"Yeah, we knew that already," Jack said.

Freya blinked at them. "How did you know that? My intel was the first to gather this knowledge."

"Well, we have better intel. Like someone from the Ori galaxy," Daniel said, crossing his arms across his chest.

"Who would that be? You cannot trust worshippers of the Ori," Freya said.

"Well, she's not a worshipper of the Ori," Daniel said.

"Who is she?" Freya asked.

Vala walked through the door, Caleb still on her hip, and over to Daniel. "That would be me!" she said cheerily.

"Qetesh!" Freya said. "You would believe a Goa'uld?"

"No, she had the symbiote removed by a Tok'ra," Daniel said.

"And who is the child?" Freya asked.

"Ours," Vala said.

Freya's eyes glowed briefly and Anise took over by force. "What?"

"Well, he's from an alternate reality, but Daniel and I are having a baby in…how long did Virginia say? Seven months?" Vala asked, enjoying this thoroughly.

Anise glared at Vala. "Is this true?" she asked Daniel.

"Yes," Daniel said. Vala slung the arm not holding Caleb up around Daniel's waist and grinned at Anise. A snickering could be heard from the doorway and they all turned to see Virginia.

"Don't stop on my account. This is funny," she said. "Oh, and Jack, Lizzie wants to talk to you."

"Who is Lizzie?" Anise asked.

"Jack's daughter…Or one of them anyways, there's also Grace and his son Patrick," Virginia said.

Freya this time took over by force. "When did this occur?" she asked.

"While ago, and you're only giving yourself a headache with the forced takeovers," Virginia said. "Oh, and what did you want to tell them?"

"It is of no matter to you," Freya said. "I will be leaving now anyway."

Jacob came into the room. "Virginia, there you are. Oh…Hello Freya," he said.

"Hello Jacob," she said before heading down the stairs to the Control Room.

"What did you say to her?" he asked.

"Told her about the kids," Virginia said. "She seemed put out by it. What was she going to tell us anyways?"

"About the Ori attacking," Daniel said.

"Which you already know thanks to me!" Vala said.

"Does Lizzie actually want to talk to me?" Jack asked.

"No, I was making her pissed off…Though I never did get to hit her…Buggery," Virginia muttered. "But Landry was wondering if you wanted to go talk to Charlie…He's been asking about you."

Jack nodded slowly and headed out of the room. All too soon, he realized that he was at the room where the kids were. He slid his card through the slot and turned the handle. There, watching TV, was his son.

Charlie turned, his eyes widening. "…Hi Dad…"


	7. Discussions

Chapter Seven: Discussions

Charlie turned, his eyes widening. "Hi dad…"

"Hi…" Jack said, shifting his weight from one foot to another as he stuck his hands in his pockets.

There was an awkward silence that reflected how awkward this was for the author, being as she wasn't even in the room at the time, but is writing this while watching the security camera tapes, it's very evident the awkwardness the two men radiated.

"So what happened to make your reality different from ours?" Jack quietly asked after the silence became too much for him to bear.

"My mom killed herself, not me," Charlie said. "Then you went on the Abydos mission and retired. After that you got called back and met Sam. Then…"

"We got married and had the three little ones," Jack said. Charlie nodded. "So … um … what did you do?"

"I went to school and whatnot, graduated a year early and top of my class, and began working in the Stargate program almost right out of college," Charlie said.

"Oh," Jack said, feeling pride swell in his heart. "That's … good … Was it because of me and Carter?"

Charlie winced a bit at the use of Sam's last name, but ignored it. "Yeah, you and Sam really pushed for letting me in. It wasn't like I didn't know about it. You'd already gotten your head stuck in the Ancient database. We had to be told something."

"Ah … the Ancient head suckers … I'm pretty sure that happens to me in all realities," Jack said. He paused. "So … what else did you do in your reality?"

"Well, you coached my little league team … After you retired for the first time, of course."

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

"So, Daniel … Do I get to stay in this lovely place for the rest of my life?" Vala asked, fluttering her eyelashes flirtatiously.

The two were in the commissary eating lunch - or rather, Vala was eating raspberry Jell-O and nothing else. Daniel, was eating lunch. "Daniel, are you even listening to me?" Vala asked when he didn't respond.

"Huh? Oh, right. I do have a house … But I don't really use it … I stay here most of the time," Daniel said. "I probably should look into letting you move there … And there's Caleb and the baby to think about…"

Vala rolled her eyes and continued to eat her Jell-O as Daniel rambled on about what he was going to have to do to his house. "And Daniel, can I have your credit card?" she asked.

"Why?"

"Because a girl needs more clothes than the ones they have here," Vala said, pointing her spoon at him.

"…Skaara probably needs clothes too…Where _is_ Skaara?" Daniel asked.

"With Virginia, where else would he be?" Vala asked.

"That's a good point," Daniel said. Daniel looked up at Sam as she sat down at the table with a tray and began eating. "Hey Sam. Have you spoken with Jack yet about the kids?"

Sam looked up at him and glared.

"I'll take that as a no, then," Daniel said.

"He won't talk to me," Sam muttered.

"Have you tried talking to him?" Vala asked. "Talking helps."

"Sure it does," Sam grumbled before returning her attention to the items on her tray trying to pass themselves off as food.

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

"This is insane," Carolyn said as she paced.

"How so?" Cam asked, spinning around in her chair.

"Colonel Carter is about to get married and winds up with three kids by another man," Carolyn said. "General O'Neill finds his son alive in a different reality; and Dr. Jackson and Vala now have a two-year-old son and a child on the way."

"And…" Cam said, trying to draw her out.

"There are five children from an alternate reality here! Don't you find this the least bit … oh, I don't know – _odd_? It weirds me out!"

"Did you just use 'weirds me out' in a sentence?" Cam asked, stopping spinning and staring at her. "And yeah, it is a bit weird, but this is the SGC. You gotta be prepared for weird."

Carolyn sighed. "But this goes beyond normal weird. I can handle aliens, going to other planets, and even fanatical worshippers of invisible people. _That_ I can handle. Different realities? Not so much … How are you coping with this?"

"I just learn to live with it," Cam said. "I mean, I read every mission report I could get my hands on while I was in the hospital."

"But it's so…" Carolyn sighed. "I'm still not used to the idea of aliens I guess…"

There was a knock on the door and Virginia stuck her head in. "Am I interrupting?" she asked.

"No, not at all," Cam said quickly.

"Right, so Daniel decided, or rather Vala decided for him, that she needs clothes and since Skaara also needs clothes we're going to the mall. Cam, Daniel says you have to come and I say Carolyn has to come. So you're both coming. Now."

"But I'm on duty," Carolyn said.

"Your dad already okayed it," Virginia said. "So, you get to come shopping!"

Cam grinned as Virginia dragged the young doctor out of her office. "This should be interesting," he murmured.


	8. The Mall

Chapter Eight: The Mall

"This is a mall?" Vala asked. "It's so much bigger than I thought…"

"Yeah, this mall is pretty big," Sam said.

The group had left the kids with Charlie and had somehow managed to drag Jack along, too. "So, where are we going to go first?" Jack asked.

"You go to the Men's Department, we go to the Women's Department," Virginia said. "Obviously."

"I meant what _store_," Jack said.

"Oh…" Vala said. She leaned in toward Daniel, "There's more than one store?"

"I vote all of them," Sam said.

"You're going to go to _all_ the stores?" Daniel asked, slightly flabbergasted.

"Yeah," Sam said. "She needs clothes, Daniel."

"How about we start at J. C. Penny's?" Jack ventured.

"Oh fine," Virginia sighed. "We'll call you when we're done to meet up somewhere."

The group split up, guys heading to the Men's Department, girls heading to the Women's.

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

"Okay, you're going to need clothes for all four seasons, basic clothes, nice clothes, and whatnot," Jack said. "Therefore we should start with the basic clothes and move on from there."

Skaara nodded, very bewildered as the men led him through the store. How could they stand picking out clothes in this manner on a regular basis?

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

Vala was entranced by all of the clothes; though slightly sad there wasn't any leather to be seen. "What can I get?" Vala asked.

"Depends on what you need, though I do have to say, clearance racks and sales are your friends," Sam said.

"There's a clearance rack," Carolyn said, pointing. They headed over, browsing through.

"You know, we should probably find out your size…" Sam said.

"Oh, it'll be easy enough to guess at first," Virginia said.

"We should make a list of the things you'll need," Carolyn said.

"Jeans, skirts, shirts, shoes, jackets, sweaters, dresses, jewelry…" Virginia started.

"Wow…" Vala said.

"Let's start with this rack and move onto jeans," Sam said. Vala ended up not liking anything on that rack, but liked four pairs of jeans, all of which she decided to get. They then moved onto skirts, seven of which Vala liked.

After that, they moved onto shirts. Vala got about fourteen t-shirts and ten tank tops. Vala spotted the dress section, where the girls decided to browse together.

"I like this one," Vala said. She had tried on a dress that looked straight out of the fifties, with dark blue fabric and white polka dots. The fact that it was a halter-top dress that hugged her curves wasn't lost on Vala. "Only I don't have any shoes to go with this … And I like the spots."

"They're called polka dots—don't ask me why," Sam said.

"Daniel might know, but who cares," Virginia said. "I think you should get it. But what about the other dresses?"

Vala looked at the pile of dresses. "Can I get them all?" she pouted, sounding similar to a child in a candy shop.

"Why not? You need clothes and I'm paying for them," Virginia said.

"Yay!" Vala said.

A phone began ringing, and Sam pulled it out. "Carter … Hi, Daniel … You're done? Already? ... Uh … How much longer?" she asked the others.

"At least another twenty minutes minimum," Carolyn said.

"See, aren't you glad I dragged you here?" Virginia asked her as Sam told Daniel.

"Daniel says he gives us ten minutes and we're supposed to meet at the food court," Sam said as she hung up her phone.

"Ten minutes?" Virginia asked. "Then I guess we had better go buy all of this, as it's going to take nearly that much time to ring it all up…"

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

Fifteen minutes later they managed to reach the food court. "How much did you buy?" Jack asked, noting all of the bags that the girls were carrying.

"Uh … A lot?" Vala said. Daniel shook his head. "There was mention of food?"

"Okay, follow Daniel," Virginia said. "I'll show Skaara. Oh, and Daniel, get rice."

Daniel nodded as Virginia and Skaara headed over to the first place, and gradually made their way down the court. Vala and Daniel headed over to the Chinese food, Daniel explaining the complexities of Chinese fast food. Cam headed over to the Southern style food with Carolyn. Teal'c followed them, not actually planning on eating anything.

Which left Sam and Jack together. The two unconsciously headed for the same place, _Sbarros_. "Uh, Carter," Jack said after the two got in line. "I'm sorry."

"About what, sir?" Sam asked, already knowing the answer.

"About the kids," Jack said.

"It's not your fault, sir," Sam said.

"In a way, it is," Jack said.

"Don't worry about it, sir. It'll solve itself," Sam said.

"Uh…That's the problem, Carter," Jack said. "Charlie doesn't think the kids will understand the whole … Pete … thing…"

"Grace and Patrick realize this isn't their world," Sam said. "As for Lizzie, I don't know."

The two got their food and headed back towards the table that Daniel and Vala had claimed. "I'm going to take them," Jack said.

"Sir?" Sam asked.

"They're my kids," was all that Jack said.

"What is this … Chinese food?" Skaara asked Virginia as Sam and Jack sat down.

"Yummy," Virginia said. She had gotten a large bowl of Sesame Chicken, dumplings, and randomly enough, sushi. Daniel had a large bowl of white rice and Vala had a bowl of Orange Chicken. Cam had managed to get a steak sandwich bigger than his head, Carolyn a salad and a small sandwich. Skaara seemed to have a variety of food from the Chinese restaurant.

"So, who thinks the girls bought too much clothes?" Jack asked.

"I'd rather not have Virginia and Vala hit me," Daniel said.

"I'd get hit, too," Cam said.

Teal'c said nothing, but raised his eyebrow.

"Fine then, I think they did," Jack said.

That promptly got all of the women to glare at him. As the group began eating, they couldn't help but stare at Virginia and Daniel. The two were eating out of each other's bowls with their chopsticks. When Daniel ventured too close to the dumplings, Virginia would hit his chopsticks with hers without a second thought.

"What is with you two?" Cam asked.

"Huh?" Virginia asked. When Cam looked pointedly down at their bowls, she grinned. "Six months in China on an archaeological dig," she explained with a shrug. "We learned to share. But he doesn't get the dumplings. That's a fact."

"And you just continue to do it?" Vala asked.

"Pretty much," Daniel said. "Though I can't fathom why she eats sushi. Or how she got it from a Chinese restaurant."

"Because I like it dummy," Virginia said. "And the sushi stands next to Panda Express."

"What is sushi?" Vala and Skaara asked.

"Raw fish," Carolyn said. "Wrapped in rice and seaweed."

"So, after this we heading back to the base?" Cam asked.

"Probably best," Jack said.

"How are we going to fit all those bags into the car?" Cam asked.

"We will somehow," Vala said.

They finished eating, marveling at how Cam managed to eat his sandwich. "Okay, let's head back," Cam said.

"Ooh! Dippin' Dots!" Virginia squealed. "I want Dippin' Dots. Gimme a sec." She darted off to the stand and came back a moment later with three small cups of the ice cream. "Chocolate for Sam, Mint for me, and Strawberry for Daniel," she said as she handed them out.

"And none for us?" Cam asked.

"Nope, 'sides, Carolyn doesn't like them," Virginia said. Cam rolled his eyes and they headed out the Food Court and back to the parking lot.

"What's that?" Vala asked, pointing to a store and pulling on Daniel's arm.

"That's a baby store," Daniel said.

Vala looked at Daniel with wide eyes. "They have _stores_ just for _babies_?" she asked.

"Yeah," Sam said.

"Can we go? Please!" Vala begged Daniel. Daniel looked at her and she began pouting. "Please."

"Fine," Daniel sighed. "But no more than fifteen minutes."

"Okay!" Vala said, dragging the father-to-be into the store. The rest of the gang sat down on a bench to wait.

Cam looked at his watch. "Okay, it's been seventeen minutes. Either she bought a boatload of stuff or they're lost."

"Lost," everyone but Skaara and Teal'c said.

They all headed inside. "What is this?" Skaara asked.

"Um…Oh my gosh! Teddy bears!" Virginia squealed, running off.

"I'm sad to be related to her," Sam said. "And do we have any clue where Daniel and Vala might be?"

"Nope," Cam said. "It's a big store and I'm betting Jackson's never been in one."

"Got that right," Virginia said, coming back over with four teddy bears, two pink, and two blue. "So I'm going for stereotypical colors, but who cares. The munchkins will like them."

"How are we supposed to find Daniel and Vala?" Jack asked.

"I would say yell, but there are babies here … So, go to the cash register," Sam said.

They went up to the cashier and Carolyn said, "We believe that two of our friends got lost in here."

"What do they look like?" the cashier asked.

"The woman's got black hair with blonde in the front, and gray eyes. The man's got brown hair, blue eyes, and is wearing glasses," Sam said.

"Oh…Those two…They're not lost…The woman's going a bit overboard is all," the cashier said with a smile.

"Overboard how?" Cam asked.

"She has three carts."

"Oh…Wow…Does Daniel even _have_ that much room in his house?" Virginia asked with wide eyes.

"Nope," Daniel's voice said from behind them. "Vala, I am _not_ letting you buy all of this!"

"But, Daniel—," Vala began.

"No, Vala," Daniel said firmly. "The baby isn't due for a while. You can come back later."

"But what about Caleb," Vala asked. "He needs things."

"She's a shopaholic, isn't she?" Cam asked Carolyn.

"Most likely," she responded.

"Vala, we'll come back _later_!" Daniel said, grabbing the woman by the hand. "We told Landry we'd be back ten minutes ago."

Vala complained the entire trip back to the base, but brightened when Virginia showed her the bear for Caleb.


	9. Fighting

Chapter Nine: Fighting

When Vala gave the kids their bears, they grabbed them and immediately began playing with them. Grace and Patrick didn't name theirs, but Lizzie named hers Princess Tulip, and Caleb named his Jay-Jay the Jet Plane.

Vala smiled as she thought about her son and opened the door to the quarters she had been assigned, which happened to be right across the hall from Daniel's quarters again.

"Why're you smiling?" Daniel asked. He was sitting in the swivel chair in her room.

Vala got a sense of déjà vu from the scenario. "Uh…Your room's over there if I recall," she said.

Daniel grinned. "Yeah, but I wanted to talk to you about something," he said. "Sit down."

Vala sat down on the edge of the bed and stared at him expectantly. "Though I do have to wonder if you're going to try to seduce me like I did you," she said.

"Right…" Daniel said. "Well, we sort of talked about where you're going to live and I think my house would be best for now. I spoke to General Landry and he agrees. Also, he's talking to the president about giving you citizenship."

"That's good," Vala said. "And about Caleb?"

"He's also talking about doing something for them, but it's a bit sticky with Lizzie, Patrick, Grace, and Charlie," Daniel said. "But as soon as you're a citizen, Caleb will be as well."

"Oh," Vala said. "That's good."

"And, well, since you're pregnant, I was thinking we should get married," Daniel said. Vala nodded slowly. "I think it would be best, as I'm the father, and also it would speed up your citizenship. Also, that would be best for Caleb as we're his parents." Daniel looked at Vala expectantly.

Vala stared at him. Did he think that was going to make her want to marry him? Because it wasn't at all what she had gotten the first time she had been proposed to. Granted, she hadn't been pregnant, and they had known each other all their lives…but…this was _not_ what she was expecting when Daniel had began thinking about his house.

"Vala?" Daniel asked, breaking Vala's train of thought. "What do you say?"

"I say," Vala said, stiffly standing up. "That I think that's not what's best for me." She turned and left the room, leaving a baffled and heartbroken Daniel in her wake.

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

"Virginia," Vala said. "Can I talk to you?"

Virginia looked at Vala, who looked like she was about to cry. "I think we need Sam and Carolyn too," she said. "That okay?" Vala nodded and followed Virginia out. They first headed to the Infirmary, yanking Carolyn away from her conversation with Cam. "You've been talking to him a lot lately."

"No I haven't," Carolyn said.

"Yes you have," Vala said. "You like him, don't you?"

"No," Carolyn said.

"De Nile isn't just a river in Egypt," Virginia said as she opened the door to Sam's lab. "Sam, we need a girl conversation now."

"Why?" Sam asked.

"Because I'm betting Daniel did something stupid, insensitive, or all out dumb," Virginia said.

"Oh. All right," Sam said.

The women looked at Vala. "What happened?" Carolyn asked.

"I gave the kids the bears—which they like immensely by the way—and then went back to my quarters. Daniel was in there and he said he wanted to talk to me about something. I sat down and he started talking. He started talking about citizenship and whatnot and then segued into marriage. Only he made it sound like…it was his duty…That it would help speed up the citizenship process and Caleb was his son and the baby is his and that it would be better for us all. And he didn't even ask. He just made it seem like an assumption."

"He said that?" Sam asked. "Daniel's not usually that insensitive."

"It was nothing like the first marriage proposal I had. Granted, Ben and I knew we were going to get married one day and we had known each other all of our lives and we were madly in love, but that was not what I would have expected from Daniel," Vala said.

"It's not something I would expect from the man either…And I know him pretty well," Virginia said. "And Vala, Daniel does love you…Though he's afraid of love because of the wonderful track record he's had with women."

"What?" Vala asked.

"Right, no one's told you about his wife," Sam said.

"His what?" Vala asked. "He's married?"

"No, he was," Virginia said. "And to make a very long story that he should really tell you short, he was married, she became Amaunet, Apophis's bride, and vanished. She and Apophis had a child, Daniel had to deliver it, and Sha're vanished. Then she came along and tried to kill him, but Teal'c killed her. Then he fell for someone else, Sarah. Only she turned into Osiris and he refused to kill her when he had the chance. What ended up happening was that she had the Goa'uld removed but refuses to talk about it and left the state."

Vala processed this information. "Okay, he's afraid of love because the people he loves get turned into gods…I get it. But why would he make it his _duty_ to marry me? If he doesn't want me here, I'll leave."

Virginia dropped her head and looked up. "Vala," Leona said. "You want the child you have with Dr. Jackson. You want the child you are about to have. You also want the friendship and camaraderie that there is here. Just as my host wants to return fully to life on Earth."

"But he still made me not want to marry him," Vala said.

Virginia's head dropped once more. "I vote we go gang up on him," she said.

"No, don't do that," Vala said.

"All right, fine," Virginia said. "Though if you have any issues with the man, don't be afraid to tell us."

"I will. It's just new to have people I can trust," Vala said.

"Don't worry, you'll get used to it," Carolyn said.

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

"So, Daniel," Virginia said, cornering the man in his office. "I told Vala I wouldn't do this, but…What were you thinking?" she yelled.

"What?" Daniel asked.

"What was running through that small brain of yours to make you think she was going to marry you when you said what you said!"

"I don't know, that she might want to marry me?" Daniel asked.

"Oh come on Daniel! That was cruel, mean, and inconsiderate!" Virginia yelled.

"How so? I asked her to marry me, didn't I?" Daniel yelled back.

"No you didn't! You said all this stuff about how it would be good. Have you even told the woman you love her?"

The retort died on Daniel's tongue. "Damn…" he murmured. "I haven't."

Virginia stared at him and then her eyes glowed. "Daniel," Leona said. "I would like to tell you that from what I can tell, Vala does love you. But love is as frightening a concept to her as it is you. She is not used to staying in one place for long or having ties to people. I suggest you apologize and say nothing of marriage until you think she's ready. And talk about it. She was very distraught. I think you should give her some time and then go seek her out."

"Virginia's still yelling, isn't she?" he asked.

"Yes," Leona said with a small smile.

"Thanks for the advice…"

Leona/Virginia nodded and left the room.

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

"So, have you spoken to dad yet?" Charlie asked.

"No," Sam said. "He won't talk to me."

"He said he was trying to talk to you," Charlie ventured.

"Well he's not doing a good job of it," Sam said angrily.

"Whoa, don't take it out on me," Charlie said. "I may be the man's son, but I inherited the people skills from my mom."

"Sorry," Sam said apologetically. "It's just that I can't seem to get my thoughts straight. I'm marrying Pete in less than a week."

"Right…Don't expect me to be happy about that," Charlie said.

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

"You wanted to see me, sir?" Cam asked.

"Colonel, sit down," Landry said.

Cam immediately noticed this was not the light-hearted General, but rather the I-know-something-and-I-don't-like-it General. He took a seat in one of the chairs and waited for Landry to continue.

He didn't have to wait long. "Now as commander of this base, I hear a lot of rumors. Most I flat out ignore. But there are some that strike me as…odd. There are some that strike me as possibly very true. This is both."

Cam waited, getting nervous as the General said nothing and stared at him.

"Colonel, are you sleeping with my daughter?" Landry asked suddenly.

Cam was shocked. "No, sir!" he said, flustered.

"There are people talking about how you two spend quite the bit of time together. That, I can understand. You're both new to the base and came at the same time. But you seem to spend more time than prudent together." Landry paused and stared at Cam. "I don't see why my daughter would begin dating now when she didn't date much in high school, and as far as I know, never really has. Yet you two spend nearly all of your free time on base together. As for off base, I don't know, but it puzzles me." Landry stared at Cam for a bit longer and then sighed. "You're dismissed."

"Yes, sir," Cam said, hurriedly leaving the office.

The first place he headed to was the Infirmary. "Carolyn, we have to talk," he said.

"Why?" she asked. Cam quickly recounted his discussion with her father, her face growing more emotionless as the seconds passed.

"What are we going to do? He suspects that we're seeing each other," Cam said.

"I told you that I don't want him to know," she said.

"It's a pretty sure bet that he already knows," Cam said. "And Carolyn, I gotta tell you, I don't want this to be a secret any more."

Carolyn stared at him, no emotion gracing her features. "Then maybe we shouldn't see each other any more," she said softly.

Cam looked at her in shock, which slowly melted into anger. He stormed out of the Infirmary, never looking back to see the tear that she brushed away.


	10. Interference

Chapter Ten: Interference

"You're kidding, right?" Jacob asked Landry. "I'm gone for less than a day and everything's a mess?"

"That's what it seems like," Landry said wearily. "And I may have had a hand in breaking my daughter up with her boyfriend."

"And how did you do that?" Jacob asked.

"I might have interrogated Colonel Mitchell a little harshly and apparently he went to Carolyn and now they aren't talking to each other at all," Landry sighed.

"Who else?" Jacob asked.

"Dr. Jackson and Vala aren't speaking either. Apparently he _tried_ to propose, but ended up bungling it all up. And your daughter and Jack won't talk to each other about the children," Landry said. "Virginia and Skaara are doing well though."

"At least someone is," Jacob said. "I should probably start with my daughter…"

Jacob headed to his daughter's lab, where she undoubtedly was. And he was correct. "Dad," Sam said surprised. "I didn't expect you to be back for a while." The two hugged and she continued. "How's the rest of the family?"

"They're fine," Jacob said. "Hank called me in because of the…lack of communication…going on here."

Sam sighed. "It's not my fault. The General won't talk to me."

"Ah, that wasn't all of it. Apparently Daniel and Vala won't talk and Colonel Mitchell and Dr. Lam won't talk," Jacob said. "Virginia and Skaara are talking though."

"That's good. At least someone is…Wait, Cam and Carolyn?" Sam said, surprised.

"Yeah, Hank mentioned something about them not talking because of something he did," Jacob said.

"Well…I didn't expect them to be together…" Sam said. She sighed when she saw the serious face her dad had. "All right…Go ahead. Lecture me."

"Sam, you need to talk to Jack. Like it or not, they're your children," Jacob said.

"The General said he'd take care of them," Sam said defensively.

"Sam, you're their _mother_. You know I hate to bring this up, but remember how you felt…They need their mother."

"I'm not abandoning them, dad. I marrying Pete is all," Sam said. "Just because I was married to a different man there doesn't mean I have to marry him here."

_--She did not say Jack's name, nor did she say anything of love,--_ Selmak said.

_--Good point…She does love Jack, and I think she realizes it. But she's stuck on Pete. I'm going to kill Mark for introducing the two of them.--_

_--I believe that if she marries Pete Shanahan, things will not bode well for this planet.--_

_--Oh, so you think that Pete's mother won't let her work here either?--_

_--Not just that. I believe that Jack would retire once more, and then who would be in charge of defending your planet?--_

_--…I didn't think of that but you're probably right.--_

"Dad?" Sam asked.

"Sorry Sammie, talking to Selmak," Jacob explained. "Just…just think over what I said." He put his hand on her head as he stood up. "I just want you to be happy…but I also want my new found grandchildren to be happy too. And that means having a mother in their lives."

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

"Okay Daniel," Jacob said. "Time to talk to you."

"Huh?" Daniel asked, looking up from his translations.

"Landry called me and Selmak in for a bit of…counseling…you could say," Jacob said.

"I don't need counseling," Daniel said.

"Yes you do. I just finished talking to Sam about leaving the kids with Jack only, and now you get to have the talk about how to propose," Jacob said.

"Oh, you heard about that, did you?" Daniel groaned. "And Virginia and Leona already lectured, yelled, and gave me advice."

"Yes I did," Jacob said. "And I'm going to give you more advice as I have proposed to a woman and Virginia and Leona have not."

Daniel sighed. "Okay, I was trying. I was. But then…"

"You started babbling," Jacob said.

"Yeah."

"My advice is to tell her you love her, because if you haven't, that's important. But don't pressure her to say yes. Actually, don't even bring up the topic until you think she's ready. And bring her chocolate and flowers. That always helps," Jacob said.

Daniel pondered this. "That's pretty much what Leona said, Virginia was too busy yelling at me to think straight, but thanks…I should go get on that now…"

Jacob grinned as Daniel left his office. "Two couples down, one to go."

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

"You here to lecture me too?" Cam asked when Jacob walked into his office.

Jacob noticed that it seemed that Cam was following Jack's tradition of never using the office, as it was sparsely decorated and had little clutter. Only difference between the two was that Jack's haunt had been the Commissary, while Cam's seemed to be the Infirmary.

_--Though with the way things are now, he won't be staying there much.-- _Selmak said.

"Yes, in fact I am here to lecture you," Jacob said. "Hank didn't mean to be so harsh. Carolyn's his little girl." He paused, gauging Cam's reaction. "He didn't mean to have you two fight. He just wanted to make sure she's safe. It's what fathers do."

"That doesn't help me now," Cam said sharply.

"Go talk to her."

"She doesn't want to have our relationship out in the open…Not that it matters now…"

"Just talk to her. See how she feels. She might be thinking differently now," Jacob said.

"Yeah, I doubt that," Cam said forlornly.

"Just go talk to her," Jacob said over his shoulder as he left the office.

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

"Virginia!" Vala said as she skidded to a stop outside of Sam's office. "Guess what! Guess what! Guess what!" she squealed as she darted inside.

"Uh…What?" Virginia asked.

"That's no fair, you have to guess!" Vala said, her eyes bright and her cheeks red.

"Uh…you're drunk," Virginia said.

"No!" Vala said impatiently. "Come on guess it!"

"I give up," Virginia said.

"Daniel told me he loved me and that's why he wants to marry me and he fell in love with me while I was here and then he realized it when I was gone and he wants to marry me because he loves me not because of Caleb and the baby and he brought me pretty flowers and chocolate and it was all sweet!" Vala said in one breath.

"Breathe, Vala, breathe. Please. Carolyn would have my hide if you ended up passing out," Virginia said.

"Let me get this straight," Sam said. "Daniel told you he loved you, brought you flowers, brought you chocolate, and now you're getting married?"

"No, he didn't ask me to marry him again," Vala said. She stopped, puzzled. "Why didn't he?"

The three women pondered this for a moment. "Maybe he thinks that you might run out on him again?" Sam said.

"Or maybe he's just dumb," Virginia said. "Out of curiosity, what did you do when he professed his love for you?"

"Uh oh…" Vala said.

"You ran out to tell us, didn't you?" Sam said. Vala nodded and then ran off again.

"Oh, she is _sooo _smitten with him," Virginia said. "I wonder when they're getting married…"

"Oh, did you know that Cam and Dr. Lam were dating?" Sam asked.

"Sort of," Virginia said. "Wait, what do you mean were dating?"

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

"Cameron Mitchell!" Virginia said.

"Oh God. Not you too," Cam groaned.

"Okay, you're fixing things with Carolyn right now!"

"She doesn't want a relationship out in the open. I can't deal with that anymore," Cam said.

"Look Cam. I've known Carolyn for a long time. And let me tell you that she sacrificed her inter-personal skills so that she could become the brilliant doctor she is today. She sucks at talking to people when it isn't about doctor stuff. She's had about three boyfriends, all of which dumped her because she was too cold."

"Really?" Cam asked. "She never had any problem talking to me."

"My point exactly. You make her have inter-personal skills. Please talk to her. All I'm asking is for you to just _talk_ to her."

"I don't want to keep us a secret any more," Cam said.

"Okay Cam. You're starting to piss me off. Carolyn is not happy right now. I just went to check on her. I'm pretty sure she was crying. You make her happy, she makes you happy. Got that? Just go talk to her, maybe even tell her how you feel. Just don't walk away this time. Oh, and buying Hershey's Milk Chocolate and white roses might help too."

"Why?"

"Cuz those are her favorites. Now go do it!"

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

Nearly an hour later, all the couples, minus the non existent couple of Sam and Jack, were happy. Carolyn had agreed to them possibly telling her father, and Cam decided he could live with that for the moment. The couples had gathered in the commissary to discuss the said non existent relationship of Sam and Jack.

"Okay, what did we try in the past that worked?" Virginia asked.

"Uh, nothing," Daniel said.

"Right, I knew that," Virginia said.

"Lock them in a closet," Vala said.

"Didn't we already try that once?" Daniel asked Virginia.

"I think so," she said.

"Okay, how about trapping them on a planet?" Cam suggested.

"Ori could get them," Carolyn said.

"Trap them in a room," Skaara said.

"Same as closet," Vala said.

"Ooh! How about we plot with Siler, cause Lord knows he'd help us, but we plot with Siler to have something malfunction, locking them in a room until they make up?" Virginia asked.

"Um…" Cam said. "That's the same as locking them in a closet or a room."

"But it's more plausible!" Virginia said.

"We've got to do something though," Daniel said. "They're becoming quite pathetic in ignoring each other."

"Yeah, and I've got money riding on those two! I'm betting she'll dump Pete and get married to Jack!" Virginia complained.

"You're betting on them?" Vala asked excitedly.

"Have you not been introduced to the betting pool around here?" Cam asked.

"I was purposefully not introducing her to that," Daniel said through gritted teeth.

"Too late for that, darling!" Vala chirped.


	11. Talking About Bread

Chapter Eleven: Talking...about Bread?

"_Pete, is it all right if I come over now?"_

"_Sure, but why? I thought you were needed."_

"_It's a long story and I'd rather explain it to you face-to-face."_

"…_Okay…Sam what's going on?"_

"…_I'll…I'll tell you when I get there, okay?"_

That had been twenty minutes ago, and now Sam found she lacked the courage to tell Pete about the kids.

"This is about the kids, isn't it?" he asked slowly.

"Yes," Sam said, "it is." She paused, trying to figure out the best way to say it. "Pete…those kids aren't…from here…"

"They're from another planet?" Pete asked.

"No. They're from another reality," Sam said.

"There are other realities?"

"Yes. And in that reality the General and I were married. Lizzie, Grace, and Patrick are biologically the children of the two of us."

Pete thought this over. "Are you breaking off the wedding?" he asked suddenly.

"No!" Sam said. "I just wanted to let you know who the kids are. And that I want to be in their lives. The General is going to be taking them in, but I want to be in their lives none the less."

"I can deal with that," Pete said.

Sam smiled gratefully at him.

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

"Save me," Daniel said. "Vala's trying to take me out to look for wedding 'pretties' as she's calling them."

"Oh, too bad," Virginia said with a grin. "I have a question for you though."

"What is it?" Daniel asked.

"Are there any Abydonian customs I'm missing because I'm getting kind of tired of just talking with Skaara," Virginia said.

"Well…There are some Abydonian customs relating to courting. Talking is the first step. You talk to gain an understanding of each other. Then when one feels they have learned enough about one another then the male makes a loaf of bread and gives it to the woman…though that's not likely to happen here. Then if she accepts it, she bakes a loaf of bread for him. It symbolizes the passing the role of who cooks for the family. Then it pretty much follows here, though the engagement is much shorter," Daniel said.

"Thanks," Virginia said. "Though how am I going to bake a loaf of bread? I can't even make cookies!"

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

"Vala has taken Daniel out?" Skaara asked.

"Yeah, they're looking for wedding stuff," Virginia said. "She's wants to go all out, but I don't know. We showed her a _few _bridal magazines and she went all giggly for about twenty minutes."

The two sat in silence for a minute. "I have a question," the two said at once. They smiled.

"You go first," Skaara said.

"Um...I spoke with Daniel about Abydonian customs because I think we're dating--I mean courting. So I spoke with Daniel about it and he explained it to me so I know that stuff now. Is that okay? Because if it's not, that's fine. But see I'm under the impression that we're courting so I'd like to know if we aren't," Virginia said quickly.

Skaara smiled. "Will you marry me?" he asked, holding out a ring box.

"Oh-oh-oh!" Virginia said. "Yes!"

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

Grace and Patrick had retreated into themselves since realizing that this wasn't their reality. Lizzie and Caleb--being too young to realize such things--were oblivious to it all. Charlie was more than slightly irritated that the higher powers of the United States Government hadn't managed to come up with a cover story for him yet. Staying inside the mountain all day was getting moderately irksome.

Sam was with them, playing with Lizzie and Caleb. It reminded her of when she had watched Cassie all those years ago. And in some respects, the room looked a fair bit like the one Cassie had been in. Posters and pictures on the wall, toys everywhere, paints, hot dogs--which the kids seemed to have an obsession with. Granted, Sam was in a VIP room this time, but it still brought back wistful memories.

The door opened and none other than Cassie stuck her head in. "Hi Sam."

"Aunt Cassie!" Lizzie squealed, running to her.

Cassie was startled by the sight of the children, but especially Charlie as she had seen pictures of him--albeit younger--at Jack's cabin. "Uh...hi?" she said to the little girl clinging to her knees. "Who?" she mouthed at Sam.

"Long story," Sam said. "Lizzie, let go of her sweetie."

Lizzie let go of the even more confused 19 year old and went to snuggle up to her mother. Cassie came in and closed the door, only to have it opened by a very hyper

Virginia seconds later."Lookie-lookie-lookie-lookie-lookie!" she squealed, holding her left hand out.

"What?" Sam asked.

Cassie squealed, "She's engaged you dolt!"

"What? But Skaara Descended yesterday!" Sam said.

"Yeah, well we've been doing the 'I'm solid he's not' kind of dating. And Daniel explained all of these thingies involving dating on Abydos--including baking bread--and then Skaara just popped out the ring! It's not fair!...I hate Daniel..." Virginia said.

"What is it with engagements right now?" Cassie asked. "Daniel and Vala are getting--"

"No!" Virginia said. " Not talkey here. Later. We splainy later too."

"Wow," Sam said. "You've reverted to how you talked in high school. You really are giddy."

Virginia giggled.

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

Daniel grinned as he hung up his phone. "That was mean," Vala said. "You shouldn't have made her think she was going to have to bake something.

"Yeah, she's going to kill me," Daniel said. "But it was worth it." Vala sighed and laced her hand through his. He looked at her. "Vala..."

"Yes darling?"

"Do you want to go ring shopping?" he asked tentatively.

Vala looked up at him. "Really Daniel?"

"Yeah."

Vala squealed and latched onto his arm. "Let's go darling!"


	12. Mr and Mrs Daniel Jackson

Chapter Twelve: Mr. and Mrs. Daniel Jackson

Daniel and Vala's wedding preparations were in full swing. Daniel had bought a new house, sold his old one, and had managed got get the wedding for a bare two days after he had proposed.

The first day consisted of shopping on the girls' part and getting Vala and Caleb quick citizenship on General Landry's part. On the boys' part, it was planning the bachelor party.

The bachelorette's party consisted of chocolate, popcorn, alcohol (though none for Cassie), and movies. Vala was entranced with the technology that the Tau'ri came up with, amused that they could do that, but couldn't build suitable spaceships.

"What do we want to watch now?" Sam yawned.

"We've watched all the wedding movies we can think of exempting the horrendousity of The Wedding Crashers—something Vala is not allowed to see _ever_. So….I' vote… Breakfast Club!" a tipsy Virginia said.

"A movie about food?" Vala asked, wrinkling her nose.

"No! Just watch it!" Virginia said, popping in the DVD.

Cassie came back with a jumbo sized bowl of popcorn. "Oh, not this again," she groaned.

"Be quiet! I like this movie!" Virginia hissed.

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

The next morning found the bride-to-be, Sam, Virginia, and Cassie sleeping on the couch in Vala's room.

"Rise and shine!" Cam's far too cheerful voice said from outside.

Vala let out a stream of Goa'uld curses. "Cameron Mitchell! GO AWAY!" Virginia yelled, causing Sam and Vala to groan.

"Shut up!" Sam said.

Cassie grinned. "You better get up," she said. "We're leaving for Daniel's house in 20 minutes." That got the women up and running around, trying to get everything together. And surprisingly 20 minutes later they managed to get to the van driving them to Daniel's new house.

When they arrived at the large house, they were met with a surprise. The remainder of Sam's family—or rather Virginia's really—all 66 of them, had decorated the house.

"Wow," Vala said.

"Whoa…Mom, you're insane," Virginia said. "Utterly, totally, and completely insane."

"This way the wedding and reception is pretty," Mrs. Johnson said.

"Insanity," Virginia repeated. "Major insanity."

"Shut up dear," Mrs. Johnson said affectionately. It was then that she spied the ring on her youngest—and the only unmarried child she had—'s hand. "What's this?!"

"Oh, right. I forgot to tell you. Skaara proposed!"

"Oh honey," Mrs. Johnson said. "When did this happen?"

"Two days ago. Meaning the day after Vala and the kids showed up," Virginia said.

"Well, we have to go tell everyone else now!" Mrs. Johnson said, dragging her reluctant daughter after her. "My baby's getting married!"

The three remaining women looked at each other and headed up the stairs to where they would be getting ready.

The wedding was going to be a casual affair thanks to the short notice. Vala hadn't even wanted a big dress, instead opting for a simple white sundress. The bridesmaids—Sam, Virginia, Carolyn, and Cassie—wore simple sundresses in lilac. Vala seemed to have not gotten the memo about the traditional ugly bridesmaids' dresses—not that they minded though.

Virginia came in, looking quite harassed, and began getting dressed. "Sam, Pete's here. Don't know why you invited him," she said absently.

"Because he's my fiancé," Sam said.

"Yeah, whatever," Virginia sighed. "And the guys are here, so Vala, you can't leave this room until the wedding actually occurs."

Vala paled slightly. "Oh…"

"It just hit you that you're getting married, didn't it?" Virginia grinned. "Angelina looked like that when she was going to marry Jeremy even though it was her second trip down the aisle."

"I'm going to be sick," Vala said, rushing into the adjoining bathroom.

"Or it could be the baby," Sam said. "Though I do think that Angelina nearly threw up."

"Good point," Virginia said.

Cassie sighed. "Where's Dr. Lam?" she asked.

"Downstairs," Virginia said.

"I'll go get her," Cassie said, heading out the door. When she got to the backyard where the guests and the wedding party was congregating, she noticed Cam and General Landry conversing away from everyone else. She spotted Carolyn and hurried over to her. "Your dress is upstairs," she told her.

Carolyn nodded her head and headed upstairs. Cassie stayed outside for a moment, looking at the lilac and white decorations before heading back inside.

"Oh God," someone said. "Oh God." Someone who sounded suspiciously like Daniel. She headed to the room the sound was coming from. "Oh God." Daniel looked positively awful. He was pacing and was very pale.

"What's wrong, Uncle Daniel?" Cassie asked teasingly.

"Pre wedding jitters," Jack explained. "Even though he's been married before."

"But wasn't she a gift?" Cam asked from behind Cassie.

"Aside from the point," Jack said. "They had a real wedding."

"Vala's nervous too," Cassie said. "Or it's the baby…we haven't decided yet."

Daniel was only slightly comforted. "All right Cass, go back upstairs to the women folk," Jack said.

Cassie scampered off and Jack turned to Daniel. "You'll be fine," he said.

Daniel paled again.

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

"Stop fidgeting," Sam hissed as the wedding march began. Vala did, as she walked down the aisle, following after her bridesmaids. Sam saw how Daniel's eyes sought Vala's and he smiled. Cam's eyes sought out Carolyn and his face softened. She glanced at the object of the man's affections…was she smiling at him?

The ceremony began and Vala and Daniel linked hands. Vala looked radiant, the simple circlet of flowers in her hair contrasting nicely.

Sam's mind couldn't focus on the ceremony, her mind drifting to her own upcoming wedding—was it really in three days?—and Pete. Daniel and Vala were getting married…she had committed to marrying Pete. It was time to…and anyways, now Daniel had a date to bring.

When Daniel and Vala exchanged their vows, Vala's voice changed into a teasing tone at the word "obey." Daniel merely smiled, knowing full well she'd never _really_ obey him.

"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Daniel kissed Vala chastely, but she wound her arms around Daniel's neck, deepening the kiss. A few hoots sounded—mostly from Virginia's juvenile brothers—and the two broke apart, breathless.

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

A bare 15 minutes later tables had been set up and nearly all the Johnson women were in the kitchen getting food ready. The head table was on the patio and a buffet had been set up.

Daniel and Vala sat at the center of the table, Vala wiping the cake off of his face. Vala had apparently greatly enjoyed the idea of shoving cake into his face.

Grace and Patrick had wandered inside the house. Caleb and Lizzie were too young to understand the concept of the wedding fully, and were playing with the other kids.

"Everybody!" Virginia said. "A toast to the bride and groom."

"A toast to the lunkhead," Virginia's father said. "Not you, dear," he said to Vala.

After the eating was done, the bride and groom shared their first dance.

"That'll be us soon," Pete whispered to Sam.

She smiled, but didn't feel completely at ease with the concept. "You know we have to invite Vala now," she said.

"That'll be how many on your side?" Pete asked.

"Uh…73 plus 16 plus Vala is 90 people," Sam said.

"And to think I've only got 40 tops," Pete said. "Though which side is Mark on?"

"Yours. I don't have enough room," Sam said.

The other couples were called on the dance floor and the two went out. Sam saw out of the corner of her eye Virginia teaching a shy Skaara to dance. Daniel and Vala were latched onto one another and the rest of Sam's married cousins were on the dance floor. And…Cam leading a _very_ hesitant Carolyn out on the dance floor…they obviously had made up.

The dancing changed, skipping the father-daughter dance. Virginia was yanked to the microphone by Vala who commanded, "Sing."

"Guh. So Vala's making me sing a song for them…so I chose this one…It's from Vala's point of view…and she okayed it." She hit the play button on the CD player and began.

_I want you to want me  
__I need you to need me  
__I'd love you to love me  
__I'm beggin you to beg me  
__I want you to want me  
__I need you to need me  
__I'd love you to love me  
__Shine up my old brown shoes  
__Put on a brand new shirt  
__I'll get off early from work if you saaay  
__That you love me  
__Didn't I didn't I didn't I see you crying?  
__Oh, didn't I didn't I didn't I see you crying?  
__Feelin all alone with a friend you know you feel like dying  
__Oh didn't I didn't I didn't I see you crying?  
__I want you to want me  
__I need you to need me  
__I'd love you to love me  
__I'm begging you to beg me  
__Shine up my old brown shoes  
__Put on a brand new shirt  
__I'll get off early from work if you saaay  
__That you love me  
__Didn't I didn't I didn't I see you crying?  
__Oh, didn't I didn't I didn't I see you crying?  
__Feelin all alone without a friend you feel like dying  
__Oh, didn't I didn't I didn't I see you crying?  
__Hey!  
__Feelin all alone without a friend you know you feel like dying  
__Oh, didn't I didn't I didn't I see you crying?  
__I want you to want me  
__I need you to need me  
__I'd love you to love me  
__I'm beggin you to beg me  
__I want you to want me  
__I want you to want me  
__I want you to want me  
__I want you to want meee_

Daniel was groaning by the end of it, but the kids seemed to like the song—and so did Vala. And to him, that was all that mattered.

"And that was 'I Want You to Want Me,' by Letters to Cleo," Virginia said.

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

Jack had forced himself to look everywhere but at Sam and Pete. In doing this, he noticed a few things. Like how Cam kept sticking his hand into his pocket when he thought no one was looking. And that he kept staring at Carolyn the whole time.

Daniel kept looking at Vala with a very dopey expression on his face, Charlie kept glaring at Pete, Lizzie and Caleb were playing with the other kids, and Jacob didn't look too particularly happy with Pete. Oh, and Virginia and Skaara were practically attached at the hip.

The party continued, Lizzie eventually falling asleep in Jack's lap, Caleb falling asleep in Charlie's.

Virginia and Skaara eventually made their way over to Jack and the sleeping Lizzie. "Oh, this is insane," Virginia sighed, leaning on Skaara's shoulder.

"Smile!" Bobby, one of Virginia's brothers, said. He snapped a picture with the camera he was holding as Virginia's oldest brother Jeremy—and husband of Angelina—came over with the video camera.

"Mom said we have to document Lizzie, Caleb, Patrick, and Grace," he said. "Only they're asleep."

"Smart Jer, really smart," Virginia said. "So how many tapes have you used?"

"One for the wedding—camera was on a tripod—and this one for the reception. I'm going to upload it tonight—imovie sucks in the realtime thing—and make it tomorrow and the next day. Hopefully it'll be done in three or four days," Jeremy said.

"How many rolls of film had Bobby used?" Jack asked.

"Oh, I'd say about 20," Jeremy said. "They're going to have a _very_ big wedding album."

Jeremy wandered off and Jack looked at his watch. "Bout time to head back to the base," he said.

"Prolly," Virginia said. "Hey! Uncle Hank!"

"What?" Landry asked, coming over.

"Time to get the kids to bed," Virginia said, stifling a yawn.

"Time to get _you_ to bed," Landry said. "But yes." He went over to the microphone. "Okay everyone. The kids are falling asleep, so it's time to head back."

The guests started picking things up and putting things away. Daniel and Vala woke up a sleepy Caleb and said goodbye, then depositing him with his "Aunt Ginia." When the last of the guests—those going to the base—were left, Virginia stopped in her tracks.

"Crap!" she said.

"What?" Sam asked.

"I'm going to have to buy a house!"


	13. Rehersal

Chapter Thirteen: Rehearsal

"Ugh, this is stupid," Virginia said, flopping down in her seat.

"You know that, Leona knows that, I know that, Selmak knows that," Jacob said.

The two were at the rehearsal dinner for Sam's wedding, two days after Daniel and Vala's wedding. Sam's mother-in-law—who Virginia had dubbed "Godzilla"—was practically bursting with happiness.

Virginia and Jacob weren't.

"Are you and Leona really separating?" Jacob asked.

"Yeah. I talked it over with Garshaw. They've got a girl lined up. And this was an experiment…though I am going to miss her," Virginia said.

_--And I will miss you.--_

_--Aww! Huggles!--_

"I'm going to miss the benefits to…I haven't gotten sick in…oh wow…three years?" Virginia smirked. "And there goes out drinking Jack…Oh well…I bet Vala can."

"A toast," Godzilla said. "To the almost newlyweds."

"Whoopie!' Virginia said under her breath, drinking her wine. "Can I get anything stronger? Because I'm going to need it by the end of tonight. And I'm going into mourning tomorrow."

"I need something stronger too," Jacob muttered. "Like vodka."

"I was thinking that fruity stuff they Reosens have. Knocked me out for 24 hours. It was a bummer of a hangover though. Swear I saw birds," Virginia said.

"Good idea," Jacob said.

"Can I try to sabotage the wedding now?" Virginia asked.

"You two need to shut up," Mandy—Virginia's cousin—said.

"Why?"

"Be happy for Sam!" Mandy hissed.

"I would be happy for her if she and Pete were meant for each other!" Virginia said a bit too loudly.

"What?" Godzilla asked icily.

"Oops…Oh well," Virginia shrugged. "So. Sam and Pete aren't meant for each other."

"Why?"

"Five for five people! That's why! Hello, first year, fourth year, _two_ Egypts, _and_ the munchkins!" Virginia said.

"What?" Sam asked.

"Where did Daniel go the first year? Who came the fourth year? I have more tapes from that Egypt venture too," Virginia said.

"You've _got_ to be kidding me," Sam said.

"I'm not," Virginia said. "And can you spell _Zat'arc_?"

"Actually, no," Sam said.

"That wasn't what I meant and you know it! And you totally can spell it," Virginia sighed. "Come on. Within five minutes of meeting you he leered at you, ten minutes you had offered to arm wrestle him _and_ you pulled out the reproductive organs line!"

"_The what_?" Godzilla asked.

"Oh, you probably didn't want to know that…But oh well. It's 'Just because my reproductive organs are on the inside instead of the outside doesn't mean I can't handle anything you can.' Ah, a classic," Virginia said.

"I haven't heard that in years," Jacob said.

"That's because I haven't said it in years," Sam muttered.

"Okay. Point 'bout that though. You were a bit obnoxious and stalker like. Really…" Virginia said. "Oh…by the way. I'm pretty sure that there's not just a munchkin version of him…I think there's a blonde, blue-eyed, obsessed with MacGyver munchkin. But only because I stalk Jon. Literally. Via satellites. And MySpace. But that's not my point."

"What was it?" Mandy asked. "And you _should_ be happy for Sam and Pete!"

"I would, but in the cosmic scheme of good vs. evil, it would be _**BAD**_! B. A. D. Capitalized, bolded, underlined, italicized, exclamation point!"

There was silence for a moment "Does she have to be in the wedding?" Mark asked, turning to Sam.

Virginia muttered something in Goa'uld that sounded suspiciously like, "See if I ever save this sorry excuse for a planet again because of you…don't even have the alcohol to have me miss the wedding from Nerut. Bugger."

"Virginia," Jacob said. "Be quiet."

"You be quiet. I want this to be over so I can kidnap Skaara and the two of us will vanish into the deep recesses of the galaxy." She paused. "Or I could go piss McKay off. That'd be sweet."

"Virginia. Shut up," Sam said.

"Everyone hates me," Virginia huffed, crossing her arms. "I have another point. Stupid lady from DC he was dating—they BROKE UP doofus! And when Anise was being painy and gave y'all those stupid bracelets—HELLO! Why does no one get this?"

Sam glared at her. "Are you telling me Samantha loves someone else?" Godzilla asked slowly and dangerously.

"Yes! Though she loves a lot of other people. Martouf, Daniel, Teal'c, Jack, she did love Jonas—that was a fiasco--, Selmak…um…yeah…I think that's it…or that I can get off the top of my head. The list of men that love her or had an infatuation with her longer," Virginia said. "Sketchy Mongolian like man, sketchy Fifth, Orlin—who still scares me—pretty sure Apo did, I've got the guy who can't light fires, Narim totally had the hots for you, Jonas was _obsessed_, and lots of other that I don't feel like naming."

Pete stared at her. "You really hate me, don't you?" he finally asked.

"Yes…though hate's not the word. I _hate_ Mr. 'I can't light something on fire when it's wet'…you…" Virginia said.

"Virginia," a voice said from the door to their private room in the restaurant.

They all looked to see none other than Anise/Freya flanked by two airmen. "Who let you come here?" Jacob asked.

"Her, I loathe, despise, abhor, detest, can't stand, hate, find insufferable, am repulsed by, dislike, and all around want to kill her. You Pete, not so much. And Mark, you're on the hate list now too. And yeah, who let you out?" Virginia asked.

"It is time now. The girl is dying as we speak," Anise said.

Virginia's face hardened. "All right," she said. She turned to Sam. "I have to go. I'll be back. Probably…" Sam nodded.

Virginia got up and headed for the door. "One thing first," she said, pausing by Anise/Freya. Her fist darted out quickly and before anyone could react, it connected solidly with Anise/Freya's jaw, causing her to stumble back. "Now _that_ was sweet!" she said as she went out.

Anise glowered and stalked out after her. As soon as the door latched behind the Airmen, nearly all of Sam's family burst out into peals of laughter. "Oh God!" Mandy said. "She may be pissing me off now, but Anise's expression!"

"Anise _and_ Freya won't let her get away with that!" Jacob said.

"She's going to never talk to us again!" Sam said.

"I'm confused," Pete and Mark said.

The laughing subsided and when no explanations came, Pete's family and Mark gave up.

It was nearly two hours later before Virginia came back. The group was getting ready to leave when she came in. "Hey, how are you?" Jacob asked.

"Well…being one of the few to go where no Tok'ra has gone before…I'm okay. Lonely. But okay. And my head feels empty," Virginia said.

"It's always been empty," half of her relatives said.

"Y'all suck. Horribly," Virginia said. "Oh, and the girl's fine too. I wanted to make sure she was before I left." She paused. "Oh…bugger…"

"What?" Sam asked.

"I wanted to out drink Jack at the reception!"


	14. The Wedding Part 1

Chapter Fourteen: The Wedding Part 1

"This is ridiculous," Virginia said, pacing back and forth. "I hate this. Really hate this. But you know that. And I really will leave for Atlantis. Really."

"Virginia," Cassie said. "Shut up."

Virginia huffed and sat down. A phone rang and someone picked it up. "Virginia, it's for you."

Virginia made her way to the phone, leaving Sam alone.

Sam was nervous. Very nervous. The proverbial "butterflies" were jumping and fluttering _all_ over. She was pretty sure it wasn't supposed to feel like this. At all. And her mind wasn't even on Pete…it was on Jack.

Virginia had been no help at the rehearsal dinner. She _had_ made Sam think about everything that she and Jack had gone through from the first day of working together till recently. He had loved her for a long time, and so had she.

Virginia's watered down comments of missions or things that occurred brought back those memories. Memories she really didn't want to think about.

Like how he _had_ leered at her.

His expression when he saw her in that _hideous_ dress on whatever planet it had been.

And that kiss, even if she had been going cave girl at the time…And how he had responded to her kiss and then said, "Not like this!"

'_No, don't go there Samantha,'_ she thought to herself.

But Jack had always been there for her.

When Jolinar had possessed her, that whole Jonas fiasco, when her dad told her he was dying of cancer, when they took him to the Tok'ra Homeworld, though the bracelets, the Za'tarc—which she really _could_ spell…But Jack was always there for her.

And when did she start calling him Jack again? Even if it only was in her mind…

"Jack sucks!" Virginia said. "He gets to skip out on this wedding now and _I_ can't?"

Sam's heart constricted painfully. So he was there for her every time but now…not that she could really blame him…

"Okay, five minutes," Jacob said as he came in. "And don't you all look beautiful."

Sam had chosen a thick strapped tank dress that flared out from the waist and was made from a tight, stretchy material in red for her bridesmaids and a simple white gown for herself.

"What's wrong?" Jacob asked.

"Oh. Nothing," Sam lied. "Pre-wedding jitters is all."

Jacob's eyes softened. "You know I just want you to be happy, right?"

"Of course, Dad."

"Pardon me for bursting in…" a voice said from the door.

"Uncle Henry!" Virginia shrieked, running to the man and hugging him tightly.

All but Virginia's sisters jaws dropped. "Mr. President," Jacob said.

"I hope you don't mind that I've sort of invited myself," the President of the United States said. "But I wanted to see one of the top members of NORAD get married."

"It's no problem at all, Mr. President," Sam said.

"So Virginia," Hayes said. "Where's this fiancé of yours?"

"You'll meet Skaara later. Go sit now," Virginia said. "We have to go to the wedding from Nerut. And then I get to vanish to bother McKay and maybe get some couples together. Perhaps I'll fare better there. After all, Lindsey Novak's told me that Dr. Weir and Colonel Caldwell are flirting. And that Colonel Sheppard and Teyla Emmagan are too."

"You astound me," Hayes said before he left the room.

"So, we gonna get this awful thing on the road or what?" Virginia asked. "And yes, I promise I won't say anything during the 'speak now or forever hold your peace' part."

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

Daniel sighed. He could understand why Jack wasn't here, but it still made him feel sorry for his friend.

"You're so tense, Daniel," Vala said, squeezing his hand. "What's wrong?"

"I'm fine. It's just this wedding…" Daniel trailed off.

"She can do _so_ much better than this Pete person…That handsome General O'Neill for example," Vala said with a smile.

"Vala!" Daniel hissed.

"Don't be so jealous darling," Vala said, cupping his cheek with her hand. "You're the one I married."

Daniel was about to retort when the wedding march began. Everyone craned their neck around to see the flower girls, the bridesmaids—Virginia, Cassie, Mandy, Angelina, Mark's wife Katie, and Lisa one of Sam's cousin-in-laws—and lastly the bride herself.

Her eyes darted to Daniel and Teal'c smiling at them. Daniel smiled back while Teal'c nodded. She reached Pete and Jacob gave her away.

The wedding continued. A presence near Daniel made him look up. It was Jack. Sam hadn't noticed him yet as her back was to him.

"Speak now or forever hold your peace," rang through the church.

Daniel motioned at Jack to say something, and out of the corner of his eye he saw Virginia biting her lip, staring at Jack, as was Leona's new host—a last minute addition to the guest list.

Jack said nothing and slid into the seat next to Daniel. When no one else said anything else, the priest continued.

"Do you Peter Michael Shanahan take Samantha Jessica Carter to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do."

"Do you Samantha Jessica Carter take Peter Michael Shanahan to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

Sam's stomach lurched. Did she? Was this all a mistake? Was this really what her dad/subconscious was trying to tell her when she was trapped on the Prometheus?

"Sam?" Pete asked, worry creasing his features.

"Do you take this man?" the priest asked again.

"Do you, Sam?" a very familiar voice said. She turned and saw that Jack had stood up. All eyes were on Jack. "Do you, Sam?...If you'll have me, to love and to hold, to cherish forever." Mark and the rest of Pete's family practically ran to restrain Jack, who was walking steadily closer to Sam. "Do you Samantha Jessica Carter take Jonathan Sean O'Neill to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do!"


	15. The Wedding Part 2

Chapter Fifteen: The Wedding Part 2

"I do!"

"There! She said it!" Godzilla said. "She and Pete are married!"

"But who did she say it to?" the priest asked in confusion.

"Pete of course—where are you going?!" Godzilla shrieked as Sam ran to Jack, who swung her up into his arms and kissed her.

"YES!!!" Virginia, Leona, Cassie, Charlie, and Vala shrieked. Well, Charlie just yelled it, being a guy and all.

Pete looked absolutely heartbroken and Jack felt sorry for him. "Am I going to marry anyone today?" the priest asked in exasperation.

Sam and Jack looked at each other. "Yes!" they said and ran to the priest.

"Do you Jon—,"

"Yes!"

Do you Sama—,"

"Yes!"

The two kissed again and Virginia, Leona, Cassie, Charlie, Vala, Jacob, and Daniel cheered. Skaara and Teal'c merely grinned. "How dare you!" Godzilla yelled. "How dare you do that!"

"Oh shut up already!" Jacob said. "No one cares what you think."

"Go Uncle Jacob!" Virginia said.

"Dad!" Mark said. "You're just going to condone this?"

"Yes I am. I couldn't have chosen a better man than Jack," Jacob said.

The Shanahan family and Mark looked at him in disgust. "I can't believe you!" Mark yelled.

Skaara got up and went to Virginia. He whispered in her ear. "Now?" she asked. He nodded. "Oh why not. All you buttfaces who don't like them married—SHUT UP! Those of you who do like them married—shut up too!"

Skaara and Virginia went over to the priest. His eyes widened. "Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do," Skaara said.

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do," Virginia said.

Everyone in the room was staring in mute shock except for Charlie, who was doubled over in laughter. "I _love_ this place!" he said between laughs.

"Oh," Virginia's mom said.

"My," her dad said.

"God!" her entire family yelled.

"Did Aunt Virginia just get married?" one of the flower girls asked.

"Yes!" a very irate Mrs. Johnson said.

"Well, the whole family's here. So why not?" Virginia asked. "Oh, Jack, Sam. You two are going to have another wedding."

"Why?" the couple asked.

"Because the…friends…you've made over the years aren't here," Virginia said. "Meaning the Nox, Thor, etc…"

"Right," Jack said. "I knew that." He paused. "Can we have cake now?"

Pete lunged for Jack, who neatly let go of Sam and shoved Pete into a seat. "Okay. Look. I'm sorry. I honestly didn't mean for this to happen. But it did."

"I'm sorry, Pete," Sam said quietly.

"So am I," Pete said bitterly. "I knew. I always knew that I wasn't the first in your heart. I had hoped that you were over him enough. Apparently I was wrong."

He got up and stalked out.

Pete's mother was quivering with rage. "You conniving, backstabbing, insolent, uncaring, gold digging, little—,"

"Finish that sentence and you will regret it," Teal'c said.

"Big time," Cam said.

Cam, Teal'c, Daniel, Vala, Virginia, Skaara, Charlie, Cassie, Leona, General Landry, Walter, his wife, General Hammond, his wife, Carolyn, Siler, his wife, Dr. Lee, Mrs. Lee, and formed a line in front of Sam and Jack.

"And might I add that it isn't wise to insult one of the most valuable assets in the country in front of the President," Hayes said, stepping in front of the line. "Now I suggest you all leave."

Everyone but Godzilla—including Mark—stalked out. The priest had long since left, fed up with the way this wedding was proceeding. "Okay Godzilla," Virginia said. "The President of the United States of America just told you to leave. So leave. Now."

Godzilla stalked off as well. "Okay. Now we can leave," Jacob said.

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

By the time they had reached the reception Virginia had been coerced into having a "real" wedding. It was either that or being kicked out of the family for two years minimum.

The first thing they did was sort out the presents, putting the ones from Pete's family somewhere else. The next thing—at Jack's order—was to send Virginia's twin brothers to buy a big cake, or a lot of cakes. He and Sam flat out refused to eat the cake that Godzilla—whose nickname was catching on as everyone had started referring to her as such—had basically made them order. The third was to scarp the songs Pete had chosen and sort through the DJs music.

Then the party began. After twenty minutes, the twins brought back two sheet cakes that said, 'Congratulations on Your Promotion!'

Apparently the guy got fired," Bobby said. "So we got them half off."

"Sweet," Jack said.

The eating began in earnest then, Sam caking Jack, Virginia being nice to Skaara, but confiding in Sam that she would cake him when they had a "real" wedding.

"Attention everyone," Virginia said. "I have announcement."

"About your _real_ wedding?" Mrs. Johnson said. "You can't wear red to your wedding!"

"The Chinese do mom! So get over it!" Virginia said. "But I was going to say that had Sam married Pete, I would be crying now. Bawling really. So yay! But I'm sooo grateful for Jack _finally_ saying something. Come _on_ stupid. Why do you think it took so gorram long for her to say yes to the idiot in the first place!"

"Get to the point!" someone shouted.

"Fine! Okay. So I'm really happy he said something. So a toast to the doofuses—yes you _both_ are doffuses," Virginia said.

Everyone took a drink in honor of Sam and Jack. "We probably should toast the new Mr. and Mrs. Abydonius ," Jack said. Everyone toasted them too.

Then the dancing began. There wasn't an official first dance song anymore but they made do. Once again, Virginia showed Skaara how to dance.

Then Virginia was yanked to the microphone once again. "Okay. I'm being forced to sing. Again. And this time in French."

_Si tu veux rester, parfait  
__Si tu veux partir, je te suivrai  
__Si tu veux parler je couterai  
__Et si tu veux dormir je me tairai  
__Si tu veux de l'or prends lemien  
__Si tu es d'accord moi je ne vuexrien  
__Si tu veux ma peau pas de probléme  
__Je t'aime  
__Si tu veux ma peau pas de probléme  
__Je t'aime  
__Si tu veux ma peau pas de probléme  
__Je t'aime  
__Si tu veux danser avec un autre  
__Si tu veux coucher  
__Dans la chambre d'un autre  
__J'altendral clenors sous la lune  
__En complant les estoiles une par une  
__Si tu veux me voir á terre  
__Tomber á genoux  
__Morde la poussiere  
__Si tu veux ma peau pas de probléme  
__Je t'aime  
__Si tu veux ma peau pas de probléme  
__Je t'aime  
__Si tu veux ma peau pas de probléme  
__Je t'aime  
__Si tu veux ma peau pas de probléme  
__Je t'aime  
__Si tu veux ma peau pas de probléme  
__Je t'aime  
__Si tu veux ma peau pas de probléme  
__Je t'aime  
__Si tu tedemandes pourquoi  
__Je ne pleure pas  
__Quand tu te fous demoi  
__C'est que tu n'asjamais cunnu  
__L'amour qui se donne á corps perdu  
__Non ne sois pas triste pour moi  
__La plus á plain dre dans l'historie  
__Cest toi  
__Mavei n'est plus, plus un probléme  
__Jet'aime  
__Mavei n'est plus, plus un probléme  
__Jet'aime  
__Mavei n'est plus, plus un probléme  
__Jet'aime  
__Mavei n'est plus, plus un probléme  
__Jet'aime  
__Mavei n'est plus, plus un probléme  
__Jet'aime  
__Mavei n'est plus, plus un probléme  
__Jet'aime  
__Mavei n'est plus, plus un probléme  
__Jet'aime  
__Mavei n'est plus, plus un probléme  
__Jet'aime  
__Mavei n'est plus, plus un probléme  
__Jet'aime_

"Yeah! But what did that mean?" Vala shouted.

"Uh…Basically the epitome of Jack," Virginia said. "Especially recently."

Cam went up and stole the microphone from Virginia. "Okay. I know I'm new and all. But Sam said I could go ahead and do this. Here goes. Carolyn Marie Lam, will you marry me?" he asked, pulling out the ring box.

All heads jerked to the young doctor. "Yes," she said faintly, then louder, "Yes."

Cam strode to her, grinning widely, and slipped the ring on her finger as he kissed her. Virginia grinned widely. She and Landry exchanged knowing looks and he slipped her a $20.

"I win. Again," she giggled.

The reception continued, full swing, as the night wore on. Charlie stole a dance with his once again step-mother. "You have no clue how happy I am," he said.

"I think I might," Sam laughed.

"None the less, this is one of the happiest days of my life. And yesterday, there were only five. Three of which having to do with you."

Sam grinned and Jack claimed her again. "So," he said. "You realize we have _a lot_ to sort out, right?"

"Houses, the kids, you in DC, me here, yes I do," Sam said. "But I imagine that Virginia's godfather can clear a few things up, namely the fact that we're on different sides of the country."

"Who's her godfather?" Jack asked. Sam spun them around so Jack could see Virginia dancing with Hayes. "The _President_?"

"Oh yes," Sam said with a laugh.

"Then I imagine things just got easier," Jack said before kissing Sam.

The two danced together, completely happy.

* * *

Translation of "Si Tu Veux" by Gerald Delpalmes is in the next chapter if you want it. And yes, this is the end. The sequel is up. 


	16. Si Tu Veux Lyrics

Okay, so some of you have been asking for the translation to the song, Si Tu Veux. Note, I don't speak French, so therefore these words might be a slight bit off. But to me, these lyrics totally fit Jack in season eight. Utterly.

Here it is!

If you want to stay, perfect  
If you want to leave I will follow you  
If you want to speak I will listen  
And if you want to sleep I will keep silent myself  
If you want gold, take mine  
If you agree with me I do not want anything

If you want my skin not a problem  
I love you  
If you want my skin not a problem  
I love you  
If you want my skin not a problem  
I love you

If you want to dance with another  
If you want to sleep  
In the room of another  
I will wait outside under the moon  
By counting stars one by one  
If you want to see me with the ground  
To fall to knees  
To bite dust

If you want my skin not a problem  
I love you  
If you want my skin not a problem  
I love you  
If you want my skin not a problem  
I love you  
If you want my skin not a problem  
I love you  
If you want my skin not a problem  
I love you  
If you want my skin not a problem  
I love you

If you request why  
I do not cry  
When you insist of me  
It is that you never knew  
The love which is given to a lost body  
Nor would not be sad for me  
To feel sorry for more in the history  
It is you

My life is not any more, more one problem  
I love you  
My life is not any more, more one problem  
I love you  
My life is not any more, more one problem  
I love you  
My life is not any more, more one problem  
I love you  
My life is not any more, more one problem  
I love you  
My life is not any more, more one problem  
I love you  
My life is not any more, more one problem  
I love you  
My life is not any more, more one problem  
I love you  
My life is not any more, more one problem  
I love you


	17. Poll version2

Okay, so a few of you already read this...but I didn't make it clear enough apparently.

There _is_ a sequel to this. It's called "All for One and One for All" and is on my bio page thingy. Some people who've read this fic have read that one. But they stopped reviewing after like the second chapter.

This is a poll about AfOaOfA. And I'd greatly appreciate it if you'd read this and review me the answers.

1.) Have you read the sequel to this story? This does not mean have you read all of it, but have you read _any_ of it. (If your answer is no, skip the next two questions.)

2.) Which chapters did you read?

3.) What do you like about the story, and what do you not like about the story?

4.) What do you wish to see in the sequel? Do you want the episodes, tags to the episodes, tags to some episodes, what. Do you want more of the adults, more of the kids, more of Charlie, more of Skaara? What? More romance?

5.) Do you plan on reading the sequel?

I really want to continue this...because I kinda wrote the tag to Memento...and I want to post it badly.

Thanks a bundle!

Sailorneo


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